rude X tender
by k.lightness
Summary: AU. He's quite the independent guy. Intelligent, alone and rude. I guess her warmth clashed with his shield.
1. May

Hi! This time, I bring you a longer story. Chapters will be named as months, and expect me to publish 2 or 3 chapters a week.  
It's a +10 chapters fanfic, 95% of the content is about them; I don't really like to mix many characters.  
No gore, no love triangles - contains sex scenes. (aaaaaah that's what you want, I know it, don't deny ittt~)  
What else can I say?  
I don't own these characters, they belong to CLAMP.

Ah also, it came to my attention that in the english literature when characters speak it's always inside " ".  
I should apologize because until now my stories have been written with a simple - before their lines, because that's how it is in the portuguese literature.  
For now, this story will still be written like that, but I'll take that into consideration for my next ones!

SO. IMPORTANT:

- CHARACTER LINE.

"- CHARACTER THOUGHT."

"- _FLASHBACK."_

Enjoy :)

* * *

PROLOGUE

Life is easier when you're by yourself. No attachments. No disappointments.  
No one will trouble you with their problems. No one will mess you up.  
You will have a quiet life, free of suffering. Loneliness won't be an issue; you prefer to be alone.  
At least, that was his way of thinking; of being.

-/-

He rubbed his eyelids and the skin surrounding his left eye, attempting to stay awake.  
The voice of a professor was somewhat distant yet annoying to his ears.  
- …Li? – the said professor addressed him. – Li, if my class is bothering you so much, by all means, feel free to go.  
The sound of his name caught his attention, making him blink a few times to focus on who was calling him.  
- It's certainly appealing, but I'm afraid I'll have to stay.  
- Then make sure to take some notes. – he stated, going back to what he was telling the class.  
His eyes rolled to the window; the sun was shy, hiding behind clouds. Wind lightly shaking the trees. There were groups of students, scattered through the vast green fields.  
One in particular, caught his attention. Five people, all being hugged by a girl who had just got there. She was smiling and seemed very caring.  
All of the sudden, his quiet classroom was invaded by the sound of books closing, people talking, getting up and walking to the door.  
He too joined them, walking down the halls, his body in a sea of so many others.  
Syaoran was tall, had brown messy hair, incredible deep brown eyes – the kind of deep you question yourself if he wants to murder you or have sex with you – and a confident, but relaxed attitude; in short, quite attractive.  
Of course, many girls would watch his every step and some would even _try_ to talk to him, but in vain.  
Apart from his good looks, he wasn't much of a social butterfly. Only talked to someone if he really had to; always seemed annoyed, bored or plain angry. That only made him more attractive to some, given all of his mysteriousness.

Outside, he looked around, wondering if he should just take a nap under a tree or head home and skip the rest of his classes.  
A nap would be better, skipping classes would only get in his way in the long run.  
He walked to a more isolated part of the fields, so he wouldn't be bothered and laid down under a big tree, his bag being used as a pillow.  
Fatigue won, pushing his eyelids down not even a minute after he had laid.

He started to come to his senses when he heard ruffling paper and fast steps coming in his direction. His eyes opened with some difficulty, adjusting to the light and fighting the need to rest.  
A girl was standing there, panting with pink cheeks. It was the same girl as before; the smiling one.  
- I'm…I'm terribly…-she tried to speak, still panting a little. – I'm terribly sorry…My notes…  
Still squinting his eyes, he looked to the grass around him; there were papers everywhere.  
- I was trying to show something to a friend and the wind came and they flew away… - she explained, a bit embarrassed. - I'm sorry to interrupt your-  
- Would you shut up for a second? Jesus…- he said, bringing his body to a sitting position, burying his face on his hands.  
She froze at those words. After a few seconds, she began grabbing her papers from the floor silently.  
He lifted his head from his hands and stared at her.  
With all the papers gathered in her hands, she looked back at him.  
- Again, I'm sorry. Is there any way I can make it up to you? – she asked, her voice more serious than before.  
- No, just stay away from me. – he answered, grabbing his bag and walking back to the building.  
Shocked, she just stood there watching him go, trying to figure out what was the matter with him.

-/-

Days had passed since that happened. In those days, he had seen her at least once a day.  
She only noticed him once or twice; she seemed to be the distracted type.  
Always with a smile on her face, always nice to everyone.  
Syaoran found it irritating.

At the end of the day, he went buying a few food essentials at a small convenience store near his apartment.  
Turning the corner of one of the aisles, he bumped into someone, letting a bottle of tomato sauce fall to the floor. His eyes looked up to see who he had bumped into and he felt his blood boil.  
- Ah! I'm so sorry! – she began but slowed down when she realized who it was. – Oh…It's you…  
- What do you mean 'It's you' ?! You just bumped into me! Look what you've done!  
- I already said I'm sorry...- she insisted.  
He turned around noticeably angry, got another bottle and headed to the cashier.  
She soon followed, since there was only one cashier.  
- I'd like a package of Davidoff too, please.  
She observed him as he packed everything inside a bag, aside from the cigarettes, which he put in the pocket of his jacket. He gave her a glance from the corner of his eye, paid and left.  
- W-wait! Hey!  
He didn't even look behind, just put the bag inside his Yamaha and sat on it, putting his helmet on.  
- I said wait! – she yelled, running towards him.  
- Didn't I tell you to stay away? – he said, finally looking at her.  
- I want to make it up to you.  
- You can do that by leaving me alone.  
- But…you already are alone…  
He started the engine.  
- Please? Anything. Ice cream? Coffee?  
She didn't get an answer, as he rode away.  
"Why is he like this? Always so…angry."

-/-

Syaoran opened his door, throwing the keys to a table nearby, setting his helmet on it, dropping his bag on the floor and heading to the kitchen.  
"_But…you already are alone…"_  
That kept replaying in his head, whether he wanted to or not.  
He put everything in its place, and took a cigarette to his mouth.  
The first drag was long, like he was desperate for it. He looked at the clock on his wall and hurried to finish that cigarette. He needed to go.

-/-

She roamed the university halls alone, in hope she would see him.  
He was so different from what she knew. Cold, rude, full of anger but, she could see rooted sadness in him. So rooted.  
Giving a few smiles to people she knew, she finally caught sight of him through a small window on a classroom door.  
He was in class, sitting in one of the highest places near a window, taking notes.  
Everyone began to pack and get up, heading to where she stood. She got out of the way but addressed one of them.  
- Hm…hi. Can I bother you for a second?  
- Hi, sure. – the guy answered with a pleased smile.  
- Sorry to ask you this, but do you know his name? – she asked, discretely pointing to the guy near the window.  
- What, Li? You're asking about him?  
- Li? Is that his name?  
- Yea. Why do you want to know? He really isn't nice, so, I'd stay away if I were you. – he said, walking away.  
Finally, Syaoran went out the door, who immediately squinted his eyes when he saw her.  
- The more I tell you to stay away, the more you cross my path.  
- Hi to you too. – she tried to ignore his aggressiveness. – And it's a bit presumptuous to think I'm standing here because of you.  
He walked right past her.  
- But, I am. – she said hurrying to his side.  
- Stop stalking me.  
- Why are you like this? What have I done to you?  
- You're the plague. – he said, never taking his eyes off of his way.  
- Excuse me?  
She grabbed his arm so strongly that he turned around a bit surprised. Syaoran quickly got rid of her hands, looking slightly angry. His deep brown eyes met her forest green ones.  
- Look, I'm just trying to apologize for waking you up and for bumping into you and you're making this the hardest task! It's just one cup of coffee!  
- And I told you to stay away.  
- And I'm not giving up.  
He gave a sarcastic chuckle.  
- Whomever told you that stubbornness was cute, was lying. I hope you know that. – he said, walking away.  
- Li.  
He stopped, closing his eyes in annoyance.  
- One cup of coffee or whatever you want, and I'll be gone. I swear.  
Some students who happened to be passing, were amused by that but went on with their lives.  
- You're such a pain. – he said walking towards his bike and sitting on it. – Come.  
Her eyes widened in disbelief that he had finally give in.  
- But… I still have classes…  
- Then, don't bother me again. – he said closing his helmet.  
- Fine, fine! I'll go!  
She sat behind him, putting her arms around his waist and got scared as soon as he started the engine.

-/-

Sitting face to face, black coffee in front of him and a cup of hot chocolate warming her hands.  
He wouldn't even look at her, the window was his focus.  
She swallowed hard and took a sip of her cup.  
- So…  
- Don't.  
Her eyes widened a little at his cut.  
- But-  
- I said, don't. You have what you wanted, your cup of coffee. After this, I'll never have to hear your voice again. We won't magically be friends. – he stated.  
Her grip on the cup tightened.  
- You're a horrible person.  
- So? – he asked, taking a long sip of his coffee.  
- I know you are hurting, and that you mask it with that-  
- Okay, stop; or I'll leave before I finish my coffee. – he warned.  
- I really wanted to apologize for causing you trouble, but I thought that if I gave you a chance, I'd get to know you and see good things about you but-  
- You've been reading too many novels. – he took another long sip.  
She felt sad; she had been such a fool. She got up, leaving her drink almost untouched and gave him a last look.  
- I'm sorry that I crossed your path. It won't happen again.  
Her attitude surprised him again, and he watched as she left the quiet café.

* * *

Okay, first chap.  
Expect the next one to be thrice the size of this lol  
Hm, I really can't say anything about this yet, right?  
Thank you for reading!


	2. June

She was wrong.  
Even after ignoring each other's presence at the university, they met again.  
It was one of her classmate's birthday, so she had been invited to go out with her and her friends.  
The birthday had started with a fun dinner at an Italian restaurant, then on to a few bars and now they were walking to a nightclub.  
Turning the corner of the street, the sound of a fight scared them a little, but since it was coming from the opposite way they were taking, they ignored it.  
A few seconds later, police sirens were heard and when they looked behind, there were two police cars where the fight was happening.  
Her eyes widened greatly when she saw the tall, brown hair man being separated from another guy, being cuffed and pushed into the police car.  
"It's…it's him!"  
She began walking towards the cars, completely forgetting about her group.  
- Sakura? Where are you going?! – a worried voice asked.  
She turned to look at her.  
- I…I have to go. Someone I know is in there…  
- Well, I don't think you'll be able to do much there. They won't let you in the car, so it might be better if you go straight to the police station.  
- Yea…I guess you're right. Thank you. – she gave a nervous smile.

-/-

- Hey, you, "Li". You're free to go. – said a police officer, opening the cell gate.  
Syaoran, who was sitting on the floor against a wall, raised his head in confusion.  
- What?  
- Get out, I don't have all day!  
He got to his feet, wincing from the pain and got out of the cell.  
Then he saw her, standing a few meters behind the officer.  
- You? What are you doing here? – he asked even more confused.  
- Come on, get out of here! She bailed you out, so go, you're taking my time.  
His eyes widened.

Outside, he took his hand to his stomach, still in pain.  
- You're in a really bad shape…You need to go-  
- No, I don't.  
She stood near him, with a worried expression taking over her face.  
- Your lip and your nose are bleeding…and you're in pain…  
- Why on earth did you bail me?– he asked, suspicious of her. – Actually, how did you know where I was?  
- I saw the fight…and then I saw you getting handcuffed and all…  
- That still doesn't explain why you paid to free me.  
- You know what, I don't know that either. Maybe I should have let you there, so you could learn to be nice to people! – she said, a bit hurt.  
After a few seconds of silence, he talked.  
- I can't pay you back right now, I don't have any money with me, but I'll pay you, for sure.  
He grunted with pain, the grip on his stomach getting tighter.  
- You have-  
- I said no! I'm going home, I'll be okay.  
She called a cab, he gave the driver his address and they both got there.  
- Thank you, there you go. – she said to the driver, handing him the money and watching him leave.  
- Why did you send him away?!  
- I'm staying.  
- You're not. – he said, wincing in pain right after talking.  
She took his arm and put it over her shoulders, putting her arm around his waist, supporting him.  
Even though he had been touched by other women, that simple touch sent a different vibe up his spine. He tried to ignore it and she didn't notice it.  
Arriving at his apartment door, after ten flights of stairs, she took in the view.  
- You have a nice view.  
He didn't answer, just took his arm from her shoulders and the keys from his pocket.

His house smelled like cigarettes, but also a nice soft manly perfume.  
It was small; from the door you could see two windows, a dark beige couch and a part of the kitchen, which was kind of part of his bedroom.  
The walls were light peach, with a few posters.  
He walked in, crossing his bedroom heading to the bathroom, being followed by her.  
- Why are you still here? I'm home, you can go.  
- You're not okay...Do you have anything to take care of those wounds? - she asked, taking her heels off.  
- What do you think you're doing?  
- My feet hurt…- she said, putting her shoes and her bag near his bed, which had its side against the wall, so the room had more space. - Now, alcohol, iodine…? Anything?  
He exhaled heavily, opening the cabinet in front of him, taking iodine and some adhesive bandages.  
She watched as he washed his face, put some water in his mouth and spit it out slightly bloody.  
- Do you have cotton or…?  
- This will do. – he said, grabbing a toilet paper roll.  
Syaoran got out of the bathroom, turned the light off and sat on his bed, whining a bit in pain.  
She hurried to kneel in front of him and take the iodine from his hands.  
- You don't get it, do you? I don-  
- I think you're the one who doesn't get it. – she said, pouring some iodine on toilet paper.  
- What do you mean?  
She gave him a faint smile and pressed the iodine to his bottom lip.  
- Hey! I asked you-  
- It doesn't matter, you'll just deny everything I say or just cut me or whatever.  
He swallowed, watching how she cared for his wounds.  
- You know my name. It's not fair that I don't know yours. – he broke the silence.  
- Li is your last name, isn't it? Mine is Kinomoto. There, fair. – she said, with a smile.  
She continued to apply iodine to his wounds, seeing the pain in his face.  
- What happened…? What was the reason?  
- They got on my nerves.  
- That's an easy thing to do, since tolerance is not your best trait.  
- They really pushed it.  
- You were sent to jail and you're a mess. – she stated, looking him in the eyes.  
- First time in jail, certainly not the first that I'm like this…probably not the last.  
She frowned and put some bandages on his face.  
- There. How's your stomach?  
- It's fine. It'll pass, it always does.  
- Are you sure it wouldn't be better if you went to the hospital?  
- Like I said, it's fine.  
- Okay. – she said, getting up and beginning to put her shoes on.  
- You can stay, if you want. It's late. – he said, with a face so closed it seemed he was going against his own will.  
She looked surprised.  
- You don't want me around. In fact, I annoy and bother you, so…I should go. – she said, getting her bag and walking out the room.  
- Stay, ok? I already owe you money, I don't want something to happen to you. – he said in the same tone as before, going after her.  
She stood in front of his door, considering his offer.  
- Ok. – she said walking to him. – But I'm hungry.  
She could've sworn he smiled, even if only his eyes showed it.

-/-

- I'd never have taken you for a good cook! – she said, shoving a forkful of pancakes in her mouth.  
- Well, one can't live on take out, frozen pizzas and noodles forever.  
She choked on her food and gave him a look.  
- I guess someone does.  
- I can fry an egg…and make toasts. – she said, trying to list the things she could cook.  
- It's something. – he said, eating calmly.  
There was a small silence between them, he would barely look at her, only focusing on his plate.  
- I'm sorry. – she began. – For saying you were a horrible person…  
- Don't be.  
- No, but I am! I was right! I got to know you and-  
- You don't know me. – he said, silencing her.  
He got up and put his dish in the sink, washing his hands right after.  
- Still…I am sorry. You're not horrible.  
- How can you know that? – he asked, drying his hands and looking at her.  
- I just…know. – she gave him a shy smile.  
He took a good look at her.  
- That's annoying.  
- What is? – she asked surprised and confused.  
- You. What you do. That smile.  
She blinked.  
- What?  
- You live in a bubble, don't you? A pink, soft bubble of happiness!  
Her eyes widened at his sudden rant.  
- You're always smiling, always so nice to everyone, always cheerful!  
- You've been watching me? – she asked surprised.  
He froze at her question.  
- No, I haven't! You're just easy to read.  
- Yea, I've been told that…but, I don't live in a bubble. I do like pink, though. – she finished with a smile.  
- We're not friends. I hope you know that. – he began. – You helped me and…  
- …this is your way of saying 'thank you', because that's a hard word to say, right?  
Her warm smile was annoying to him.  
- Whatever you want it to be. You'll be sleeping in the couch, I'll get you a blanket.  
He turned to go get it and she put her dish in the sink, watching him.  
- Here. If you need anything, ask.  
- Thanks…- she said, grabbing the blanket and watching him sit on his bed.

-/-

She woke up to the smell of cigarettes; sitting on the couch, she looked behind, just to see him leaning on the window smoking.  
- Hi. – she said timidly, approaching him.  
- Hi. – he looked at her through the corner of his eye. – You look like a panda bear.  
She blushed and ran to the bathroom, mentally cursing her smudged make up.  
He smirked and took a last drag.  
With a clean face she approached him again, her cheeks still a bit warm.  
- Thanks for letting me know…  
- You're welcome.  
- Well, I should get going.  
- Yea, you should. I'll pay you back tomorrow or so.  
- No problem, really…but, how are you feeling?  
- I'm fine.  
She gave him a faint smile, put her shoes on and grabbed her bag.  
- So…bye.  
- Bye.  
She left, closing the door behind her.  
He sighed, his eyes wandering to the couch. Folding back the blanket, he noticed it smelled like her and dropped it on the couch, sighing again.

-/-

Two days had passed since then.  
She hadn't seen him since she had closed his door. It was worrying her. She knew perfectly well he was lying; he was in pain.  
- Hey, Sakura…do you want to get a copy of this? I can lend it to you.  
- Hm? Uh, yea sure! Thank you. – she grabbed the papers and smiled.  
- You seem extra distracted today. Is there something wrong?  
- Ah…no, nothing.  
Suddenly, she felt someone standing near her and her friends froze; she looked up.  
- Can I talk to you for a second?  
- Li! Yes! – she turned to face her friends. – I'll be back!  
She got up, grabbed her stuff and followed him, who walked at a fast pace.  
- I was worried about you! Are you feeling better?  
- Yes. – he grabbed something in the inside pocket of his jacket and gave it to her. – Here.  
She took it a bit confused.  
- This is…You really didn't have to hurry and pay it back… It could wait.  
- No, it couldn't. I don't like having debts.  
She took her hand to touch his lip, without realizing her gesture could be taken as something else.  
- It's healing. – she said, her expression very caring. – Have you been taking care of it?  
He carefully pushed her hand away, making her blush.  
- Yes. Now I have to go. – he said, turning to leave.  
- Oh, ok. Hm, would you want to grab a snack later? – she asked, hopeful.  
- Kinomoto. I told you we're not friends. So, stay away. – he said, turning to face her again.  
- But…we could be…right?  
- No.  
She watched him walk away and the grip on the money got tighter.

-/-

The music was loud, but not so loud that it would make talking impossible.  
It went from rock to dance music; it wasn't the owner's taste, it was what his customers wanted and customers are always right. Except, when they begin fights inside his bar.  
Sakura and a friend entered the bar, trying to pass through the sea of people to get to the counter.  
- Can I have a Malibu Coke, please? – her friend asked the barman at the other end of the counter. – What do you want to drink?  
- Ah…same.  
- Make it two!  
The barman put the two drinks in front of them, stating the price, while his eyes wandered from one girl to the other and suddenly widened.  
- Li!  
He took the money and ignored her.  
- Li! Hey!  
- You know him?  
- Yea…I do…  
- He's hot! – she said, taking a sip from her drink.  
She blushed and watched him behind the counter. It looked like he worked there.

The night went on, her friend getting drunk, dancing like crazy and later on, leaving with some guy she had met there. Sakura just stayed by the counter, looking at Syaoran every once in a while. She caught him looking at her twice, but he didn't say anything.  
- Hi…- said a guy, sitting next to her.  
- Hi. – she said uncomfortably.  
- Can I buy you a drink?  
- Hm, mine is still half full, but thank you.  
- But after you finish that one, I could, right?  
- I'll probably go home with my friend, then.  
- Oh, it's too bad…I'd like to get to know you better.  
She forced a smile.  
Syaoran, who was mainly on the other end of the counter, noticed how uncomfortable she was.  
- So, what's your name, beautiful? – he said, putting her medium length light toffee hair behind her back.  
- Could you please not do that? – she asked a bit afraid.  
- What? I'm just putting your hair back so I could have a better view of your face. – he said getting closer.  
- Please, don't…  
- Oh don't be a prude…  
- Hey. She told you to stop, so you will stop.  
Surprised and relieved, she looked at the person standing next to them, outside the counter.  
- Why don't you mind your own business, _boy_?  
He smirked, but soon that disappeared, as he saw the guy grab her like she was his.  
The panic in her face was hard to watch.  
- We were just having a little chat, weren't we?  
She winced at his grip on her arm.  
- Let her go and get out.  
- I won't! I'm a cust-  
In a matter of seconds, the guy was on the floor, with one of Syaoran's hands around his neck.  
Sakura stood there still processing what was happening.  
- Why you little..!  
The guy knocked Syaoran to the floor, punching him but he fell to the floor again, being punched, kicked and dragged to the door by Syaoran.  
- Don't step into this bar again! – he growled.  
He watched as the guy got up, walking away ranting. Inside the bar, almost everyone had stopped because of them, even his boss had stepped out of his room to see what was going on.  
- Li, come here!  
He went to his boss's room and closed the door behind him.  
- What happened out there?  
- A guy making a girl uncomfortable. I told him to stop and he didn't want to. – he said, cleaning the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.  
- You have never done this before…We've seen that happen countless times, you never cared…- he said, eyeing him suspiciously. – What changed?  
- I grew tired of seeing it happen.  
A soft knock on the door alerted them.  
- Yes?  
The door opened slowly, showing a still shaken girl from what had happened.  
- Oh…you must be… the girl involved in all that? Please, come in. Would you like some water? – the owner promptly offered.  
Sakura entered, accepting the glass of water and letting him pass to go get it.  
- I'll be right back. – he said, closing the door behind him.  
Syaoran couldn't help but to notice how she hugged herself.  
- You're hurt…  
- It's nothing. – he said. – How are you?  
For a moment, he almost took his hands to rub her arms, but they never left his sides.  
- I'm…okay. – she faked a smile.  
The door opened again, his boss came through it with a glass of water in his hand.  
- Here you go. – he said with a warm smile.  
Said boss, shouldn't be less than sixty years old, wore glasses, had medium length grey hair, caught in a low ponytail and dressed somewhere between a rocker and casual.  
- Thank you…- she answered with a faint sincere smile.  
He sat again in his chair and looked at her, then to his employee.  
- So…a guy was bothering you?  
- Yea…but maybe, I could've handled it…  
- When? When he had you pinned against a wall? – Syaoran said sarcastically.  
The thought sent a shiver through her spine and she drank a third of her water.  
- Li did well in stopping him. It's a behaviour that we shouldn't tolerate.  
Suddenly, Syaoran felt blood dripping from his nose, which didn't went unnoticed to his boss or Sakura.  
- You're bleeding…  
- Here, stanch it with this. – said his boss, giving him a few tissues.  
He grabbed those and stuffed them up his nose, leaning his head back.  
Another thing that didn't go unnoticed to his boss, was how worried Sakura was with him.  
- Miss? Can I ask you who you are? You seem to know Li…  
- Ah…  
Syaoran looked to his boss, slightly squinting his eyes.  
- She goes to the same university that I go to.  
- Is that so? Then maybe you should make sure she gets home safely. – he suggested with a smile. – You're dismissed for the rest of the night.  
He only rolled his eyes in response.

-/-

Syaoran stopped his bike in front of a boarding house and she hopped off.  
- You live here?  
- Yea. – she said weakly. – I'm not from here, I'm from a small town. And getting an apartment would be too much, so…  
- How long have you been staying here?  
- Uh…around a year. Yea. – she said. – But this is fine, really. The owners are nice.  
"And I said she lived in a bubble…fuck me…"  
- Kinomoto.  
Her eyes widened and she felt her cheeks get warm.  
- Hm?  
- Be careful. – he said, closing his helmet and taking off.  
She watched him disappear; the sound of his bike and his scent of cigarettes and perfume.  
Her grip on her small bag got tighter, as she recalled how he had defended her earlier.  
The warmth on her cheeks never left that night.

-/-

He landed on his bed face up, touching his nose still sore from the fight, like the rest of his face.  
The fear in her face came to his mind. He would barely admit it to himself, but hugging her crossed his mind.

-/-

Days passed. They would see each other at university, and even though she wanted to go to him and say something, she just smiled in the distance; she knew he didn't want her around.  
Somehow, that smile of hers made him feel less lonely.  
He didn't want any attachments; any feelings at all. Not after having his heart broken.

As soon as he got up on his bike, he heard her voice calling him, something he hadn't heard in almost two weeks.  
Panting, she stopped at his side; her cheeks so warm she thought she might be getting a fever.  
- Li…hi…- she said, with a smile as warm as her cheeks.  
He swallowed.  
- Kinomoto. Hi. – he said. – Do you need anything?  
- Uh… No…I…we haven't talked in a while, so…  
- So?  
- I was wondering if you'd like to grab a bite with me, as non-friends. – she smiled again.  
He almost chuckled at her observation.  
- Hop. – he said after giving it a thought.  
She almost jumped on her toes in joy, but restrained herself, sitting behind him with her arms around his waist.  
The feeling of her body against his back sent a shock up his body, making him swallow again.

He felt divided. Saying 'no' was the law he lived by, but the desire to say 'yes' was getting stronger. It was an unsettling feeling.

- I'll have a…slice of the strawberry cream cake and a cup of tea, please.  
- Coffee and slice of chocolate cake for me, please.  
They sat in a table near the window, waiting for their order.  
- How's your nose…? – she asked, trying to make conversation.  
- Fine. – he answered.  
- How's work?  
- Fine.  
- Your boss seemed really nice.  
- Yea, he is.  
The waitress came with their orders and left giving him a flirting look.  
- How long have you been working there?  
- Two years, I think. – he said, taking a sip of his coffee.  
- Oh…  
Her mind went blank. She cut a bit of her cake.  
- Do you want to try it?  
- No, that's okay. I have mine.  
She forced a little smile, which he noticed, and she took that piece of cake to her mouth.  
After a while without talking and with their drinks in half, she broke the silence again.  
- Am I…bothering you, right now? – she asked, a hint of sadness in her voice.  
His eyes went from the window to hers, and it felt like his blood had stopped flowing so well.  
- No. Why?  
She forced another smile and put her cup down.  
- I know we are not friends. You stated that very clearly. But…- she began.  
- It's not because it's you. You are…- he went silent.  
- I am…? – she asked hopeful.  
- …nice.  
She saw the corners of his lips go a bit up. Meanwhile, he felt his cheeks slightly warm.  
- So, yea, don't get the wrong idea. It's not about you.  
She stole a piece of his cake and smiled.  
- Hey.  
- You never ask me anything. Or barely.  
- Do you want me to?  
- Maybe…  
He took another sip of his coffee and observed how she had left the whole strawberry for the end; that made him smile on the inside.  
- I don't know what you're studying, if you'd be so kind to enlighten me.  
- I…intend to be a teacher one day.  
- A teacher?  
- Yea. For little kids, you know, teach them how to read…  
- I see.  
- And you?  
- Management.  
- Oh…  
- Oh? What?  
- Nothing…I think it suits you…you're so serious…and management is…serious.  
He finished his coffee and looked at her, squinting his eyes in curiosity.  
- How old are you?  
She blinked.  
- Twenty-one…  
- Hm.  
- Why?  
- Curiosity. I could have been dealing with a genius child this whole time, but I guess not. – he said, stealing her strawberry and eating it.  
- Ah! That was mine!  
- Well, you should have eaten it while you could.  
She pouted and stole the last piece of his cake.  
- So, you're vengeful.  
- I'm not. But I like chocolate too…and you stole my strawberry.  
His lips formed into a smirk and that made her smile.  
- How old are you?  
- Twenty two, almost three.  
They left the café, after a few minutes of looking out the window with no words being spoken.

-/-

He laid in bed with his chest up, eyes covered by his arm, muttering a song that was playing.  
_"- It's not because it's you. You are…  
- I am…?  
- …nice.  
- So, yea, don't get the wrong idea. It's not about you."  
_Of course it couldn't be about her. It was about him. It had always been.  
She seemed to have everything so pulled together, despite being far from home and living in a house where everyone was a stranger. She managed to be happy. That meant she was strong, unlike him.  
What a pathetic being he was. Closing himself to life; running away from his past, but allowing it to dictate his present and future.  
How to change that? Did he even want to change?  
The palms of his hands pressed his eyes, gently rubbing them, then fell upon his abdomen.  
His eyes fixed on the ceiling; his lips no longer muttering.  
"_- Am I…bothering you, right now?"_  
"You are a bother…because you stir things inside me. You come and shake things off…making me feel this confused…"  
The green of her eyes came to his mind and he felt his stomach react.  
He rolled to his side, facing the wall.  
"I can't see you anymore. I can't…I can't…"  
He rolled again, face down, suffocating on his pillow.  
"But…I want to..."  
Grunting, he got up and lit a cigarette, inhaling its smoke like if it was life.

The exams season had ended, and with it, classes.  
She had barely seen him; exams took all of her free time, even sleep.  
He seemed pretty busy and focused too; nothing less to expect from someone studying management.  
But now, she was free, at least, until going back home for the summer.  
_"- How old are you?  
- Twenty two, almost three."_  
Almost. So his birthday was near that time, right? What if it had been during the exams?  
What if it hadn't?  
If she asked him directly, he'd probably just ignore her or not even answer.  
His boss came to her mind. He should know, right?

Even though the bar was full that night, he noticed her the moment she leaned on the counter.  
He didn't know if he felt happy or stressed that she was there.  
- Hey. – he said, approaching her. – What are you doing here?  
- Hi! – she said cheerfully. – Is your boss here? Do you think I could talk to him?  
- Yea, he is…but why? – he asked, his face showing his confusion.  
- None of your business…- she teased.- Can I go in?  
He gestured for her to get in, and she did, after two knocks on the door.  
- Oh, it's you! Li's friend!  
She blushed a little.  
- Hi…  
- How are you? – he asked with a sincere smile.  
- I'm good, thank you. I hope I'm not disturbing or anything…  
- Oh no, nonsense!  
She gave him a shy smile.  
- So, what brings you here? I'm almost sure it's about my employee.  
- Uh…yea. – she blushed. – A while ago he mentioned something that suggested that his birthday was near and I was wondering if…  
- …I know his birth date? Well, I don't, but his file sure does! - he said, standing up and browsing some papers. – Here, it's the third of July. It's coming up!  
A smile took over her lips and her shoulders relaxed.  
- Thank you!  
- Are you going to be making something for him?  
- I was thinking of it, yes…  
- Then, good luck! – he said, with a smile on his face. – Also, take this.  
He opened a cabinet and took out a dark bottle, giving it to her.  
- Ah…what's this?  
- Alcohol , of course! – he grinned.  
- Okay then… - she said, almost giggling. – Again, I'm sorry for…  
- Shh!  
- Okay…thank you. I'll go now…- she said opening the door. – Bye!  
- Bye, take care!  
As soon as she turned around, his eyes caught hers, making her blush.  
- Did you have a nice conversation with the old man?  
- I did. – she answered with a smile. – And now I'm leaving.  
- You shouldn't be walking around alone at night, at least not in this city.  
Sakura, who already was on the other side of the counter, turned to face him again.  
- I know, but…things have to be done, right?  
- I could ask him to leave for a few minutes and get you home safely.  
She shook her head.  
- No need. I'll take a cab.  
It didn't feel right to him, but he had to let it go. They weren't even friends, according to him.  
- Bye Li, see you around… maybe?  
- Maybe.  
He said it like he didn't care, but he did.  
She gave him a weak smile and left.

* * *

Well, I hope this chapter was more interesting.  
See you next chapter.

Thank you for reading


	3. July

- Yes?  
- Hey Li! My dearest employee.  
- I'm not liking the tone of this…- he said, suspicious of his boss.  
- I'm just calling to let you know you won't be needed tonight.  
- What? – he asked, even more suspicious.  
- Yes, you're free tonight.  
- Why? How?  
- You're simply not needed.  
- This sounds extremely fishy.  
- Bye now!  
He stared at his phone in confusion.  
"-What was all this about?"

The knocks on his door alarmed him.  
It could only be one person; the only one he had taken there.  
He opened the door, still adjusting the tshirt he had just put on.  
- Hii! – she said wearing the biggest grin.  
- Hi…what are you doing here?  
- Surpriseee! – she exclaimed, passing him a cake box. – Open it!  
His eyes widened slightly and he opened the box.  
There was a cake covered in chocolate, decorated with strawberries all around the top and "Happy Birthday Li!" written in white on the center.  
Syaoran felt waves of hot and cold cross his body and he felt the need to moisten his throat.  
- I did it myself…well, not alone. I asked a friend to help me, but there you go…I hope you like it. – she said getting nervous with his lack of reaction. – Chocolate…and strawberries!  
He raised his eyes to look at her in disbelief.  
- What? What? Is it not today? You don't like it? – she started asking getting more anxious.  
- No…I…I like it…and it is today…- he finally spoke. – I just…  
- What…?  
- I just…don't understand…why would you give yourself the trouble…  
- Eh? It was no trouble at all! It was fun! But I thought it would make you happy…- she said, her voice becoming lower.  
- And it did. – he said, slightly blushing. – I suppose you plan on coming in?  
- If you let me…  
He made way for her to enter and closed the door, still holding the open box in his right hand.  
- How…oh. My boss.  
She only grinned at him.  
- So that's why you went there that night…to ask him when was my birthday?  
-Hm yea…because you said you were almost twenty three…  
He put the box on the kitchen table and gave it another look.  
- Also, your boss sent you this. – she said showing him the bottle.  
The bottle passed to his hands.  
- Hm. How…nice of him. – he said putting it down on the table.  
But he couldn't take his eyes off the cake. Not for what it looked like, but for what it meant. She had used her time and resources to do that only because of him.  
- I…I'm not good at cooking, but I really tried, with the help of my friend. I don't know if it's hard or soft or too sweet…I don't know, I can only hope-  
- I don't care. I like it. – he said, his eyes meeting hers, making her blush.  
- I also…didn't really think about it, but now that I'm here…did you have any plans for today?  
- Yea, work, but the old man called me a while ago giving me the night off. Now it makes sense.  
- You were going to spend your birthday working…and alone?  
- What's wrong with that?  
Sakura passed a finger on the chocolate covering the cake and smudged his cheek.  
- You can't! – she pouted.  
He looked surprised that she had done that.  
- Behave, child.  
She giggled and licked her finger.

Almost half cake missing and half bottle empty later, she finally had the pleasure to see him genuinely smile.  
They were both sitting on the carpet, around his living room coffee table.  
- We should have ordered something else to eat…like pizza…this is definitely going to reflect on our stomachs…  
- Maybe…but it's actually really good…- he said, taking a bite of a strawberry.  
- Yay! – she said raising her glass, along with her other hand, almost falling behind.  
- Oi…maybe you should stop drinking.  
- Eh? No way, I'm fine! – she took her glass and drank it all at once.  
- Kinomoto.  
- Hm! – she answered, lowering her head to look at him.  
- Thank you.  
She blinked a little, trying to process what he had said and then her cheeks gained colour.  
- Y-you're welcome.  
He showed her a soft smile and drank.  
- Can I ask you something…?  
- Go ahead.  
- Why…why are you so alone?  
His fingers ran through his hair while he looked at the emptiness, looking for an answer.  
- Life led me to it. – he began. – And it's safer, right? I mean…if I'm alone, I have no one to betray me or lie to me or abandon me…- he finished with a forced smile.  
- But…is it worth it? Is it worth living a life with no loved ones?  
- If they abandon you, they really aren't loved ones. At least, they shouldn't be.  
- Sometimes you love people even when they hurt you…You can't control how you feel…  
- Well, I can. I've cut them all. Everyone. – he said, drinking again.  
- Who…?  
- No one worth mentioning. – he said while pouring more into his glass.  
She stared at him, observing his features; the way his brown hair fell, how deep his eyes were, his jaw, his nose, his lips.  
- Is there chocolate on my face again? – he asked, noticing how she was looking at him.  
- Ah…no…I was just looking at you…- she admitted.  
He didn't say anything to that, just looked back at her.  
- Ever since we met…I could see you were suffering…- she began, her head bent. – Forgive me for intruding, I know it's none of my business…but I couldn't help but care…  
- So, you became a stalker out of pity…?- he said, taking a sip.  
- No! No! I…I truly wanted to apologize to you and then…the rest is history…but I care about you…  
The rest of his drink went down his throat.  
- My parents abandoned me, I was around five. – he began, balancing the empty glass in his hand on the table. – They sold me to a rich couple; like if I was a sack of potatoes. – he gave a sarcastic and pained chuckle.  
Tears came to her eyes, and in a way, she regretted asking him.  
- Li…  
- Li is my adoptive family's name. I left them as soon as I hit eighteen. I ended up here.  
She watched as he filled yet another glass.  
- I don't know how…maybe I was a really smart kid, but I became like this ever since that happened. The trade. – he took a long gulp and looked at her. – It wasn't a choice. It happened. I call it self defence mechanism.  
- Why did you…leave your adoptive parents? – she asked in a low voice.  
- I couldn't stand being there. I couldn't stand knowing I had been bought. I couldn't stand feeling like a possession; an object. Actually, an heir; a false heir. Everything felt so artificial to me…  
As soon as he put his glass down, he felt her arms around his neck, her weight pressing his body, the scent of her hair and her trembling body.  
- Ki-Kinomoto…  
She cried and the hug only got tighter, as did his jaw.  
He felt his eyes fill with water and his arms slowly wrapped around her, enjoying the first hug in many years.  
- I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…- she said between sobs.

The light coming in from the windows hit him in the eyes, making them twitch and open.  
They blinked adjusting to it, his head hurting like it hadn't in a long time and then he felt her weight pressing his body.  
It seemed like they had fallen asleep on the carpet.  
She was lying on her side, with her head on his chest and one of her hands near her face.  
He swallowed, thinking of how he would get up without waking her up.  
His hand went to her cheek and, unconsciously, pushed away some hair that fell over her eyes.  
She seemed to be fast asleep. No wonder, with all the drinking and crying.  
Drinking had made him talk about things he had kept only to himself; things he thought he would never tell anyone.  
His fingers slid down her cheek in a gentle touch. He had never woken up to a girl sleeping beside him, nor had he imagined so. He expected a lonely life, since he shut everyone off.  
_"(…)but I care about you…"_  
Even though his head was throbbing with pain, he remembered perfectly well what had been said last night.  
Lost in his thoughts, he approached her face, brushing his lips on hers.  
A sound coming from the back of her throat brought him back.  
"Shit! What the hell am I doing?!"  
Alarmed, he hurried to stand up, waking her up.  
She braced herself on her hands, looking around and then up to him, squinting her eyes in her sleepiness.  
- Hm…my head…  
- Yea…mine too.  
He offered her a hand to help her get up.  
She staggered a bit standing up and then looked him the eyes, unable to say anything.  
- We shouldn't have drunk that much. – he said, looking away. – And please forget everything I told you.  
- You know I can't do that.  
He headed to the kitchen but felt his shirt pulled, then her arms wrapped around him from behind.  
- I understand…- she began. - not your pain, I could never…but…your point of view.  
His eyes softened to the sound of her words.  
- All your life, you've been pushing everyone away…avoiding any type of connection, shutting everyone off, afraid of getting hurt…- she said in a low voice, the grip of her hands getting stronger.  
Breathing became difficult for him. Her touch, her warmth and her words were too much for him to handle. He gently pushed her hands away and took a step forward.  
-I'm taking you home. We need to rest…

Syaoran woke up with heavy eyelids. His head still hurt.  
The first thing coming to his mind was her embrace on his back. His lips brushing hers. The grip of her hands on his shirt. Her sobs.  
_"- I understand…"  
"- All your life, you've been pushing everyone away…avoiding any type of connection, shutting everyone off, afraid of getting hurt…"  
"-My parents abandoned me"  
_He reached for his phone to check the time; five in the afternoon.  
A knock on his door made him close his eyes; it was her.  
He took a deep breath and went to open it.  
She stood in front of him, not saying a word, just looking at him.  
- You can't come here all the time…besides, it's pretty far from where you're staying.  
- I know…but I had to see you.  
- Kinomoto…- he began, trying to find the right words while messing his hair.  
- Is your head still hurting?  
- A bit. Yours?  
- Same…  
He sighed and let her in.  
- I was right…you really are a plague.  
She gave him a fake annoyed look and then hugged him by surprise.  
- Don't push me away…please…  
It was so comforting, to feel her warmth and her skin and her arms…  
Above all, to feel her persistent presence.  
His hands went to her back, pressing her harder to his body, making her heart skip a beat.  
- Thank you.  
- For what? – she whispered.  
He smirked. – Doesn't matter.  
She breathed in the scent of his shirt, which curiously, didn't smell like cigarettes.  
- I just realized something. – she said, gently pushing herself away.  
- Hm?  
- Yesterday, you didn't smoke. At least, while you were with me…- she said with a sweet smile.  
- Yea, I was too busy stuffing my face with cake, getting drunk and spilling my past. – he said walking to the kitchen.  
- Hey…  
He turned to face her.  
- Do you consider me your friend, now?  
He blinked and almost laughed.  
- Who knows…

-/-

Sakura was sitting at the bar, quietly observing him work and drinking a coke, when his boss approached her.  
- Well hello there! He didn't tell me you were here!  
- Hi! Thank you for helping me with his birthday… - she said, smiling.  
- Oh that was nothing.  
He turned his head to look at his employee. – He seems a bit different, you know...  
- Hm?  
- It must be you. – he said facing her again with a smile.  
- Me?  
He smiled at her naivety. – I should warn you though, that you're walking over ice; I can't even tell if it's thick or thin. But you're definitely breaking it…so, be careful with what's beneath, for his sake, and for yours too.  
She looked down at her drink, holding the glass with both hands.  
- But I'm sure you both will be just fine! – he said cheerfully.  
- What are you two conspiring? – said Syaoran, approaching them with a suspicious look.  
- I was just telling her how rude you are, for not telling me that this lovely lady was here!  
- What lovely lady? – he teased.  
She squinted her eyes at him.  
- Oh don't be like that! She's so good to you! – he said, turning to leave and patting his shoulder.  
Syaoran only rolled his eyes, his cheeks slightly warm.  
- Well, I have things to do, I'll leave you two now. Bye dear, it was great to see you!  
- Bye! – she said with a sweet smile.  
After his boss left to his office, Syaoran leaned over the counter.  
- It seems he became quite fond of you…one of these days, he's going to put you in my place.  
- Are you jealous?  
- Jealous? - he chuckled.  
She smiled in amusement.  
His boss was right; Li was opening up.  
- So…listen…  
- Hm?  
- I was thinking…- she began, her eyes setting on his. - …if you'd like to come on a trip to the beach, with me and some friends…-she said, biting her lip.  
He breathed in and then sighed, his expression thoughtful.  
- Before you say no…can I just say that I'd really like if you came with us…  
- Kinomoto…  
- A-and, my friends are cool about it! They won't bother you, I swear!  
He sighed again, his indecisiveness showing on his face.  
- It's just three days…please? Please Li?  
He closed his eyes, giving up.  
- Okay.  
- Really?! – she asked, maybe a bit too loud.  
- Shh! Keep it down…- he scolded her. – Yes. I'll go.  
She stood up and hugged him over the counter, making him blush in embarrassment.  
- Hey! Stop it! – he said trying to get rid of her arms.  
She had a grin on her face as big as when she gave him the cake.  
- I promise you're going to have fun!  
- So… when's the trip?  
- This weekend. – she said, still smiling.

- All packed and ready to go? – she asked, being her usual cheerful self.  
- Yea. It's just three days anyway… - he said, turning his eyes to the van a few meters from him. – How many are we…?  
- Well…it's you, me…Tomoyo-chan, Chiharu-chan, Eriol-kun and Yamazaki-kun!  
His face fell on his palm.  
"-What did I get myself into?"  
- Come on! We have to get on the road! – she said, pulling him by the hand.

One hour on the road and they arrived at their destination; Tomoyo's beach house, with the beach itself right in the backyard.  
The trip had been a bit awkward, since they didn't know him and he didn't know them, so Syaoran just kept quiet the whole trip, listening to his music. He still could see them talking and laughing, basically just having fun. It made him feel out of place.  
Suddenly, he felt a head hit his shoulder; it was Sakura's, who slightly tilted her head back so she could look at him and gave him a tender smile.  
He smiled back.

As soon as she stepped out of the van, her face lit up in pure happiness.  
- The seaaa! – she pulled Tomoyo by the hand, crossing the front yard and hurrying her to unlock the door, then crossing the house, to the beach.  
The rest of the group followed quietly carrying their luggage.  
Syaoran put down some bags and stopped at the open back door, watching her wet her feet in the sea.  
- She just loves the sea. – said Tomoyo in a soft tone. – Isn't she adorable?  
Syaoran looked at the girl standing next to him and then back to Sakura.  
- That's not the word I would choose for her, but…  
- Then what word would you choose?  
- Don't know…never thought about it. – he said, walking away from her.  
Tomoyo smiled.

- Li, Li! – called Sakura, coming in the house.  
- Calm down…  
- Come see the sea! – she said, pulling him by the hand.  
- Oy, can't that wait? The sea isn't going anywhere… - he said being dragged , almost tripping.  
- No! – she said in excitement.  
Chiharu and Tomoyo giggled at the scene.

With a kick, she splashed him with water.  
- Seriously?  
He returned the splash, which began a small battle.  
- They sure seem to be having fun. – said Yamazaki.  
- Who would imagine that Li-san was like this? – asked Eriol.  
- I know right? He seemed to be so serious and rude! – said Chiharu.  
- Shh! Don't say that Chiharu-chan, if they heard it, they'd be hurt… - said Tomoyo.

They stopped, wet and tired.  
- This is not over…I'll get my revenge when you're least expecting it. – he said, panting.  
- I won, I won! – she giggled.  
She threw herself at him, knocking him to the sand, falling on top of him.  
- Oy!  
He blushed at the meeting of their eyes, their faces too close.  
- I'm so happy you came with us…- she said with that sweet smile of hers.  
- Heeey! Come unpack you two! – yelled Yamazaki from the house.  
She got up and ran, being followed by Syaoran.

-/-

He laid on his towel, Tomoyo and the others on their towels, all under sunshades.  
- She's definitely in paradise. – said Chiharu, giggling.  
They watched as Sakura played in the water with Eriol; he picked her up on his shoulder, making her scream, walked a few meters and threw her in the water, causing a big splash.  
Tomoyo was amused, but being as perceptive as she was, she noticed someone was a bit serious.  
His jaw was tense and he felt uncomfortable with the scene.  
- Li-san, would you like an apple? – she offered.  
- Uh…No, thank you. - he replied, turning his face to look at her.  
He got up and headed to the water, diving in and surprising both Sakura and Eriol.  
She stopped and watched as he emerged, wiping the water from his face with his back turned to her.  
- I think I'll go and lie on my towel for a while. You're staying? – said Eriol.  
- Uh…yea! – she answered.  
Sakura swam to Syaoran and hung herself on his back, her arms around his neck.  
Her wet, cold body pressing on his back made his heart jump.  
- Hey! What are you trying to do? – he said, turning his face to the side, meeting hers.  
She simply smiled, making him blush.  
- Aren't you tired of being in the water?  
- No, I love it!  
- Can you please get off me?  
She let go of him and he turned to face her. She was wearing a strapless underwired emerald green bikini that looked beautiful on her, or at least, he thought so.  
- You were having a lot of fun with that Eriol guy, uh?  
- Yea, he's really nice. I think you two would be great friends.  
- Hm. – he said, beginning to swim on his back.

- He was definitely bothered by our little fun – said Eriol, in a low voice while smiling.  
- That's what it seemed to me too. – said Tomoyo, also smiling.  
- Uh? What are you talking about? – asked Chiharu.  
- Nothing. – said Tomoyo, smiling at her.

At night, they made a bonfire at the beach and sat around it, watching it crackle.  
- Too bad no one here plays the guitar…- said Chiharu.  
- We can always talk to each other, tell stories… - said Eriol, smiling.  
- Ghost stories! – said Yamazaki.  
- Oh, I know one! – said Chiharu. – Can I?  
Eriol nodded.  
- Ok, so…back in my grandma's village, there's this abandoned house on a hill, and from that place you have a beautiful view over the village.  
There used to live a couple who loved each other very much. One day, the village landlord died and his nephew took charge, forcing every woman to lay with him whenever he wanted.  
They all listened to the story quietly, except for Syaoran, who couldn't care less.  
- But with that couple, from the house in the hill, was different. The young man opposed to it, especially because she was pregnant. The landlord took drastic measures and had him killed, thinking he would have his beautiful wife to himself. But the wife lost in so much pain, took her own life. After that, people swore they saw them around the village, and later, the landlord was found cut in pieces in his bed. To this day, no one dares to go near that house; someone went there and never came back…  
Syaoran noticed how Sakura trembled and tried to cover her ears.  
- Ok, you know what, stop. Please. – he said standing up and making everyone look at him. – I don't mean to be rude, but…I'm going to bed, if you'll excuse me.  
Sakura looked at him in surprise, but quickly joined him.  
- I-I'm going too, sorry guys…good night!

- Why didn't you say something? – he said, not looking at her while going upstairs.  
- Hm?  
- You were scared. Why didn't you say so? Or, weren't they supposed to know?  
- I…  
She stopped midway on the stairs, making him stop too and look behind.  
- I didn't want them to know…anyone to know…- she finally said, bending her head.  
- Why…? – he asked, stepping down a few steps.  
- Because I'm perfectly aware that's a childish fear…a stupid fear…and I feel weak…  
His lips formed into a faint smile.  
- Hey. Look at me.  
His right hand lifted her chin, gently forcing her to look at him.  
- All fears are valid; all of them. There's probably a book full of them, with proper names. And fearing ghosts and things like that, is one of the most common fears.  
He could see tiny water droplets in the corner of her eyes, and somehow it hurt him a bit.  
- A person without fears is not a person at all. – he said, with a soft expression. – But, we have to try not to feed them…  
The corners of her lips went up and she hugged him, something that wasn't a surprise to him anymore. He didn't mind, on the contrary, he enjoyed it.  
- Thank you Li…- she said, her voice slightly muffled by his dark plaid shirt. – I actually thought you would look down on me because of this, so I tried really hard to hide it…  
One of his hands went to her back and the other to the back of her head.  
- I didn't…

- It's mine! – said Eriol, reaching for the volleyball and punching it back.  
Syaoran, on the other side of the net, punched it so that it would barely pass over the net, making it impossible to catch and touch the floor.  
- Nice one, Li! – praised Sakura, who was behind him.  
Tomoyo was also on their team, against Eriol, Yamazaki and Chiharu.  
- Well, I guess you won. – said Eriol, smiling.  
- You're really good at this, Li-kun. – said Tomoyo.  
He didn't say anything, just grabbed his water bottle and drank like if he hadn't drank for days and then gasped for air.  
They all sat under the sunshades, grabbing food and drinks.  
- Are you only good at volleyball or other sports as well? – asked Sakura, sitting close to him.  
- It's been a while since I've played anything…since high school actually. But I was okay in most sports.  
She smiled at him.  
- It's nice getting to know more things about you.  
- There's not much to know…at least, not that you don't know already. – he said, biting an apple.  
- You like apples, I didn't know that.  
- Apples are okay.  
- Then, is there a fruit that you like more? Like, strawberries?  
- Hm…perhaps melon.  
She smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder, looking at the sea.  
He glanced at her through the corner of his eye, a new feeling of comfort settling.

- Look at those two…- whispered Tomoyo, smiling.  
Eriol smiled too.  
- I'd be lying if I said I'm not curious to see where that is going, although I might have an idea.

Everyone had gone to bed, it was late and the night was beautiful and peaceful.  
The sea was so calm, one would barely hear it, even standing in the beach.  
Syaoran was leaning on the railing of the back yard porch, smoking and admiring the sea.  
He was unwillingly replaying the moment when she threw him to the sand and said she was happy he was there, and how he had felt when she was playing with Eriol.  
The image of her body in a bikini also came to his mind, making him bend his head in a thought of denial. How she had clung to him in the water. The way she couldn't stop smiling.  
To him, she felt like a tornado; but a good kind of tornado. A tornado of happiness. She was the opposite of him; so different. Spreading positivity everywhere she went and shaking everything inside his house. Bursting open his windows, making a mess of everything…but such a good mess.  
His eyes relaxed thinking of all that.  
- Enjoying the quiet of the night? – a voice said behind him, startling him.  
He turned to see who it was and his face closed a little.  
- I hope I'm not disturbing… - said Eriol, approaching him.  
Syaoran didn't say anything, just leaned back on the railing. Eriol did the same.  
- I didn't know you smoke.  
- It would be strange if you knew, since I don't smoke in public.  
- Does she know that you smoke?  
- She does. – he answered, taking a long drag. – Would it be a problem if she didn't?  
- No…I was just wondering.  
There was a minute of silence, one where Syaoran thought of leaving his cigarette unfinished and go to bed.  
- It's interesting, you know. – Eriol began. – The way she is around you, it's different from the way she acted with her previous boyfriends…  
Syaoran choked on the smoke and coughed.  
- Wait…you think I'm her boyfriend? – asked Syaoran, unbelieving. – Did she tell you that?  
- No, she didn't. And I'm aware that you are not her boyfriend.  
- Then why the comparison? – asked Syaoran, squinting his eyes at him in confusion.  
- That's exactly the point. – Eriol smiled. – She used to be restrained and uneasy around her previous boyfriends, especially the last one.  
He listened to him like it didn't make any sense.  
- So, you have to understand that is strange for us to suddenly see her being so herself around you.  
- Why is it any different from you and the rest?  
- You know it is, don't pretend it isn't.  
- But it's n-  
- I think she might be too good to you. Or maybe she's just what you need. – said Eriol. – But, I don't know you at all.  
- I think you should mind your own business. – said Syaoran, throwing his finished cigarette to the sand and leaving.

He rolled in the bed, staring at the window with an emotionless face.  
_"(…)you have to understand that is strange for us to suddenly see her being so herself around you.  
- Why is it any different from you and the rest?  
- You know it is, don't pretend it isn't.  
- But it's n-  
- I think she might be too good to you. Or maybe she's just what you need.(…)"  
_He saw a pair of seagulls cross the sky.  
What had he meant by that? Too good for him. What he needed.  
Knocks on the door caused him to blink his eyes.  
- Y-yea?  
Toffee hair and a pair of green eyes came through the door.  
- Good morning… - she greeted with a shy smile.  
He sat on the bed and combed his hair with his fingers.  
- Hi.  
- Did I wake you...?  
- No, no…I was already awake.  
She closed the door and sat at the end of the bed.  
- Are you enjoying, being here?  
- Yea…why wouldn't I?  
- I don't know…you're not really used to these things, and it would be understandable if you were uncomfortable being with so many people you don't know…  
- I'm not. – he gave her a faint smile.  
She smiled back, blushing a little.  
Syaoran was handsome, it wasn't news to her, but there was something about his morning face that made him even more attractive. Maybe it was the feeling that his walls were easier to break.  
- Li…- she began. – Thank you…for letting me in. I know it isn't easy for you and that I was a real pain…  
- Who told you that you were in? – he teased.  
She got redder.  
- Uh…well, I…thought…  
He smiled at her reaction and dragged his bottom to be next to her.  
- You were indeed a pain…- he said looking in her eyes.  
- Does that mean that I'm not, anymore?  
- It means I got used to it. – he smirked.  
His brown eyes were giving her strange feelings; the need to run away and the strange need to feel his warmth.  
- And…-he began, turning is face to the window. – You are in.  
"More than anyone else before…"  
- Don't be so happy about that, though. I'll eventually hurt you, or let you down or…  
- It happens. – she said. – And we will go on from then. I'm no angel myself, I'll probably do it too…  
He turned his face to her and noticed a growing desire to kiss her, to which he blushed.  
- We'll see…

The last day was spent at the beach, like the first two.  
Syaoran avoided Eriol even more than in the other days,  
He observed how caring Sakura was; how she hugged Tomoyo; how she ran from the kitchen because she didn't understand a thing about cooking; how she cared for himself, too.  
- Tomoyo made this amazing dessert with strawberries and cream…want some? – she asked him, putting her arms around his neck from behind while he sat on the steps of the back yard porch.  
- Uh…yea, sure. I'll be there in a minute. – he answered, trying to face her.  
She sat at his side, looking at him with a sweet smile on her lips.  
- What? – he asked.  
- What what?  
He chuckled, and after a small silence he spoke.  
- I'm glad that you have such nice friends.  
- Yea, I feel really lucky. Especially with you here.  
The wind softly blowing her hair, her green eyes filled with tenderness, her cheeks painted light pink and her lips curving in such a genuine smile.  
_"-Isn't she adorable?"_ Tomoyo's words came to his mind. She was right.  
The grip of his right hand on the step got stronger, as he tried to hold himself there.  
He stopped hearing the sea, and the voices of her friends and even the screechy sound of the seagulls, as his mouth went dry and his breathing shorter. It took him everything not to kiss her right there.  
- Should I put the dessert in the fridge or you two will want some? – asked Tomoyo, at the door behind them.  
Syaoran quickly stood up and went inside, leaving two surprised girls behind.  
- Did something happen? – Tomoyo asked.  
- No…maybe he really wants to try your dessert. – said Sakura.  
Tomoyo smiled at her naivety.

Eriol looked out the window with Yamazaki at his side.  
- The sky is turning dark grey…I think it's going to rain…  
- What a way to end this perfect weekend…  
At dinner, all they could hear was the pouring rain.  
- Well, at least it didn't rain yesterday or the day before. That, would have been a real bother. – said Tomoyo.  
- Yea… - said Sakura, yawning. – I'll skip dessert, I feel really tired.  
- Knowing you, you'll eat it for breakfast tomorrow morning – Tomoyo giggled.  
Sakura blushed a little and said good night.

The rain had brought company, lightning and thunder, that seemed to be right above them.  
The turning of the knob on his door woke him up.  
He sat on the bed, only to see a scared Sakura at the door.  
- Sorry…- she whispered. – Can I stay here with you?  
His eyes widened, like if all the sleepiness had disappeared.  
- Uh?  
She swallowed and carefully closed the door, taking a step in his direction.  
A thunder made her jump.  
- Can I? Please? – she asked, seeming a bit desperate.  
Understanding now what the problem was, he lifted the covers of his bed and saw her run to it and cover herself completely.  
- I am really, really sorry Li…- she said, her voice muffled by the covers covering her head.  
- Wouldn't it be better for you if you slept with Tomoyo…? – he asked, uncovering her face.  
- She doesn't know…and I don't want to bother her…  
- Oh, so bothering me is fine? – he teased.  
- N-no, no…I just…  
Her cheeks were red with shame and she didn't know what to say, so she rolled to her side, hitting his chest with her face.  
- It's okay.  
- I just thought that…you wouldn't judge me…  
- I'm not…but…are there any more fears I should know about, before I'm awakened in the middle of the night again? - he joked.  
- A…few more…but I don't want to talk about those right now.  
As she spoke, another thunder roared.  
- I'm being a bother, aren't I?  
- Let's sleep, okay? – he asked calmly.  
She nodded.  
- Just…stay close to me…

Morning came, still cloudy, but no longer raining or thundering.  
Her eyes began to open, seeing a beige wall a few meters ahead.  
Then she noticed a different kind of warmth wrapping her; she was lying on her side and Syaoran was right behind her, his arm over her waist.  
A sudden redness came to her cheeks. She could hear and feel his breathing on her neck.  
Thinking back to last night, she felt like digging a hole and hiding there. How stupid of her to wake him up, ask to sleep with him just because she was afraid of thunders.  
"- He must think I'm a stupid little girl…"  
Slowly, she shifted her body up, her head falling to her side facing him.  
He looked so peaceful and so…  
"- Cute…"  
Her attitude might have been stupid, but it had paid off.  
She took her left hand to his face, her fingertips carefully caressing his cheeks and then his lips.  
His eyelids twitched, beginning to open right after it.  
Her eyes were the first thing he saw; that sea of emerald green that he secretly admired so much. Then, he noticed her fingers on his face and how close her face was.  
He swallowed to moisten his throat, as his cheeks became warmer under her touch.  
- Do I…have something on my face? – he said, breaking the silence.  
At that, she quickly withdrew her hand, blushing even harder.  
- Uh…y-yea…you had an eyelash…  
- …near my lips?  
She swallowed, her heart jumping inside her chest. In a moment of courage, she closed the distance between their faces, her lips almost reaching his when a few knocks on the door made her jump far from him.  
He cleared his throat and sat on the bed.  
- Yea?  
The door opened slowly, showing an already dressed Tomoyo.  
- Oh…so there you are. I went looking for you, but found your bed empty…  
Sakura's cheeks were as red as a cherry.  
- I-I…I was scared last night...  
- Aww…Sakura…you could've come to me…  
Syaoran turned his head to look at the girl next to him, looking at her in surprise.  
"- Sakura?"  
She looked back at him, embarrassment written all over her face.  
In a quick movement, she crawled out of bed and got out of his room, leaving a confused Tomoyo behind.  
- Did…something happen…between you two?  
- N-no! Of course not!

In her room, she hid her face in her hands.  
"-What am I doing?! I almost…almost…kissed him…"  
The pressure of her face on her hands grew stronger.  
"- I can't…We're just now becoming friends…He's opening up to me…He's trusting me…if…if I did something like that he would…go away…"

The trip back home was as cheerful as the trip before, except for Sakura.  
She sat quietly next to Syaoran, barely moving or speaking. He found it strange.  
It wasn't like her, at all.  
He was the first one to be dropped off.  
Sakura got out of the van and walked him to the stairs.  
- I hope you had fun…because I had, and…I'm happy that you went with us. – she said, forcing a smile.  
- What's wrong…Kinomoto?  
- Hm? Nothing. I have to go now, they're waiting for me – she answered. – And, tomorrow I'll be going home for about a month, to spend some time with my family…so, I'll be back right before the end of August. - she said, taking a few steps back.  
- I see. Have fun then.  
He knew something was off about her.  
- Thanks. Bye…- she said while turning to leave, with a faint smile on her face.  
- You're leaving for a month and you won't even hug me? – he asked, suspicion taking over his voice.  
She stopped, trying to stabilize her breathing.  
- Uh…sorry. My bad. – she said, walking to him.  
He pulled her to his arms harshly and hugged her, making her heart miss a few beats.  
- You're acting strange. If you don't want to talk about it right now, it's fine. I hope you can explain it when you come back…- he began. – But…don't just leave for a month without…properly saying goodbye.  
Her fingers pressed harder into his back and she inhaled the scent she loved so much.  
She felt him kiss the top of her head, something he had never done before.  
The hug got loose and she softly pushed herself away.  
- Bye Li…take care of yourself, okay?  
He gave her a soft, but saddened smile.  
- I will. You too.

* * *

This one is big lol  
How are you liking it so far? Is it going too fast? D:

Also, a small side note: I know exams season goes up to July, but since that would mess up my story, I ignored it hehe.

Thank you for reading! :)


	4. August

It was only the middle of August and he was already feeling desperate, like never before.  
"- Why didn't I ask for her phone number?!"  
To him, this was something new; caring for someone and being away from her for more than two weeks.  
Syaoran was lying in bed, cigarette between his teeth.  
_"- You're leaving for a month and you won't even hug me?"  
_He remembered that almost every day. That, and some events from the trip to the beach, like feeling the urge to kiss her; sleeping with her; waking up to her touching his face.  
He closed his eyes, feeling the smoke invading him.  
_"-(…) Sakura (…)"_  
That was her name. Like the little pink flower that gives way to a cherry.  
Her pink cheeks approaching his face came to his mind. How close her face; her lips were.  
"- Was she going to…?"  
He put out the cigarette and went for a shower; he had to go to work.

-/-

- I haven't seen that girlfriend of yours for a while… - counting the money in the cash drawer.  
- She's not my girlfriend. – he replied, while cleaning the counter.  
- Well, she is. Girl friend.  
Syaoran rolled his eyes.  
- Did something happen between you two?  
- No, why?  
- I just find it odd that she hasn't been around.  
- She went home to spend some time with her family.  
- Oh. So that's why…- he said, closing the drawer and going into his office to put the money away.  
Syaoran washed and dried his hands, put some glasses in the right place and leaned the side of his body to the office door.  
- I guess I'll go now, or do you still need me?  
- No, you can go. Thank you for your work. – the old man said with a smile on his face.  
- Ok, see you tomorrow then.

Riding home, he thought about her.  
_"- (…) that girlfriend of yours (…)"  
"- She's not my girlfriend."_  
He had never had a girlfriend, for his own reasons.  
Whenever he felt like it, he would just give in to some girl's charm for a night at her place or at a hotel, but never at his place. His house was his refuge, his sacred ground.  
Sakura was the exception to the rule. Saving him from jail, taking him home and tending to his wounds…  
She had been the first person to enter his house, the first to sleep there, the first to eat his food, the first to _really_ hug him, despite the rude way he had treated her.  
He missed her, like he had never missed anyone before.  
There were bright lights coming from his left side, lights that he then realized were headlights.  
He didn't feel the hit or how he was thrown to the floor for a few meters, ending up with his face to the floor.

-/-

- Sakura? – a voice spoke from the other side of the line.  
- Tomoyo-chan! How-  
- Sakura…I don't know how I should say this, but…you have to know…  
- Tomoyo, is there something wrong? You're scaring me…  
- Li…he had an accident.  
The green eyes widened.  
- I didn't see it, but Eriol did…he was passing by with a few friends, and...he saw a truck hit Li's bike…- said Tomoyo, fearing for her friend's reaction.  
Sakura couldn't think. Her face went pale and she almost let the phone slip out of her hand.  
- Sakura…? Please…say something…  
The girl swallowed.  
- When was this? Is…is he okay? Have you seen him?  
- Last night…and I don't have any information, I'm sorry Sakura…  
It was hard to breathe, it hurt.  
- I…I'm going back today. I've to go now Tomoyo…thank you for telling me.  
- Sak-  
The call was off.  
"- Poor Li…and poor Sakura…I hope he's okay..."

-/-

She ran into the hospital, looking around for a reception counter. Her eyes fell on two women behind a counter, going through some papers. She made her way to it.  
- H-Hi…I was wondering if you could give me some information?  
- Hello, maybe, if we can be of any assistance.  
- A friend of mine had a bike accident yesterday…His last name is Li, did he come here?  
The woman hit some keys on the computer keyboard and after a few minutes turned her face to her.  
- Yes, he is.  
- I-is he okay? Can I see him? – she asked, almost trembling.  
- I'll have to ask the doctor if you can. – she said, dialling a number on the phone.  
Sakura heard her talk to the doctor impatiently.  
- The doctor would like to speak to you, so if you could go up to the first floor, room fifty six.  
- Ah, thank you!

Turning the corner of that hall, she saw a man in a white coat standing in front of the room fifty six, analysing some papers on a clipboard.  
- Excuse me, hi…are you the doctor taking care of Li?  
The man turned his head up to look at her and gave a timid smile.  
- Hello, and yes…that should be me. Are you the visitor the receptionist told me about?  
- Yes, I am…is he okay?  
- Well, before anything else, are you family?  
- N-no…I'm a friend…  
- Could you give us a contact number for us to reach his family?  
- I can't…I've never met them…but is he okay? Please…  
- Hm…Li-san was pretty lucky. He was hit really hard and consequently, he hit the floor really hard as well.  
Sakura tried her best not to tremble.  
- Above all, I believe he owes his life to his helmet. But, he got some serious injuries; broken left arm, open right wrist, broken left leg, two cracked ribs and minor traumatism on his head, but nothing severe.  
Her hands had gone up to her mouth, trying to hide her shock.  
- C-can I…can I see him? Please!  
- I will let you in this time, but don't take too long, okay? He needs to rest. – he said opening the room door.  
She stopped breathing at the sight of him; lying on a hospital bed with a casted leg, casted arms and bandages around his forehead.  
The doctor closed the door, leaving her alone with him.  
She approached the bed, wanting to touch him but afraid to hurt him.  
- Li…  
His eyes opened slowly.  
Gently, she wrapped her hand around his.  
- Sakura… what…are you doing here?  
- What do you think? – she replied with a tender expression on her face.  
- You didn't have to…come…- he began. – You need to spend time with your family…  
- And leave you here…? Alone, in a hospital…?  
- I'm used to being on my own.  
- So you didn't miss me…? – she asked, a hint of hurt in her voice.  
He swallowed.  
- I did….  
Her face softened at his voice.  
- I talked to your doctor…- she began. – You were really lucky…  
- So it seems…  
- You…could have…died…- her voice losing its strength as she spoke.  
- But I didn't. Instead, I managed to break almost all of my limbs, so I'm pretty much disabled right now.  
Her lips curved in a weak smile at his dark humour, her eyes meeting his.  
In that moment, she was sure of what she felt.  
- Are you feeling any pain?  
- A bit…they put me on painkillers, though.  
There was a small silence, in which he observed every detail of her.  
How he had missed her was beyond words.  
But there she was, leaving her family just to visit him.  
- Hm…the doctor asked me about your family. He wants to talk to them.  
- I know, he asked me the same. I don't understand why, I'm responsible for myself.  
- Yes, but...I think they should know…don't they care for you?  
He didn't answer, just looked at the window.  
- Li…  
He sighed and looked back at her, with a tender look in his eyes.  
- It's Syaoran…Sakura.  
At first she didn't understand, but after a second her eyes widened and her heart jumped inside her chest.  
- Syaoran…? – she said, blushing. – Did I say it right?  
- Yes. – he only smiled at her. Not any smile, but a genuine smile.  
- You remembered my name…from that time…when Tomoyo said it…  
- You thought I would forget?  
- I don't know…  
The door behind her opened, the doctor still holding the knob in his hand.  
- Time to go, miss.  
Her expression could easily be read as 'no, please…' with a touch of despair.  
- I'll come back. Tomorrow! I promise!  
Syaoran smiled at her.  
- It's okay, you don't have to…  
- But I want to and I will! Get some rest, okay?  
In a bold move, she leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek, making him blush.  
- See you tomorrow. – she said, pink cheeks and a smile on her face.  
She left with the doctor, who closed the door behind him.  
- Doctor, how long does he have to stay here? How long will it take for his bones to heal?  
- Well…- he began, taking a deep breath. – He will have to stay here while he's healing his arms, because he can't do anything, he can't move. The healing part…around two months for his arm and three months for his leg, to heal completely.  
She was shocked; she had no idea it took that long for someone to heal broken bones.  
- Okay…  
- Did you manage to get any information about his family?  
- He says he's responsible for himself…and he really doesn't want to involve his family.  
- I see. Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to go now…See you around.

* * *

This one is really short lol  
And I'm breaking my 'promise' of posting 2-3 chapters per week...I knew it, I can't hold myself lol

Thank you for reading! (and for all the reviews, follows and faves!)


	5. October

As the weeks progressed, Sakura visited him every day.  
After almost kissing him that day; after those weeks away from him; after almost never seeing him ever again, she realized how she really felt about him.  
She indeed wanted to kiss him; make him smile more often; see his eyes filled with joy.  
She was in love with him.  
- Hii. – she gasped as soon as she looked at him. – No casts!  
Syaoran raised both hands with a smile.  
- Finally free!  
- Oh I'm so happy for you! - she said with a big grin. – How does it feel to be able to move your arms and hands again?  
- It feels great… - he chuckled.  
She smiled.  
- I brought you chocolate cake! – she said, opening a container.  
- Let me guess, Tomoyo helped you again.  
- She did…but I'm getting better at it! – she said, blushing.  
He smiled tenderly at her reaction and took a bite out of a slice.  
- It's good.  
She smiled at him.  
There was a knock on the door.  
- May I?  
- Sure, sure. – Sakura answered.  
The doctor went in, closing the door behind him and approaching the bed.  
- Ok…Li-san…How are you feeling now that your casts are gone?  
- Free, relieved.  
The doctor smiled at him.  
- A month from now, it will be your leg. Before you leave today, we will lend you crutches so you can walk on your own, just don't overdo it, okay?  
Syaoran just nodded.

-/-

- Well, that was fun. – he said sarcastically, heavy breathing from all those flights of stairs.  
- Are you okay? – asked Sakura, bracing him.  
- Yea. – he answered while reaching for his keys. – Here, can you open it for me?  
Sakura opened the door, letting him enter first and closing the door behind her.  
- Two months closed…- he muttered while walking to the windows and opening them.  
- I'll do a quick clean up! – she said, rolling up her sleeves.  
- No, you don't have to!  
- Well, this house needs to be cleaned. Can you do it?  
He turned his face to the side, leaning against the wall, hands holding his crutches.  
She approached him and took a good look at his face. How she wanted to touch him; kiss him.  
- We haven't hugged in two months, you know…- she said softly.  
He raised his eyes to look at her and let go of the crutches, pulling her by the waist.  
- True. – he said, his mouth near her left ear, his arms around her.  
She felt a shiver crawl her spine and her cheeks went red.  
Syaoran missed holding her like this, inhaling her scent, feeling her warmth and gentleness.  
- The last time we hugged, I had to ask you.  
She didn't say anything to that.  
- Do you think you could explain to me what was wrong that time?  
The pressure of her hands on his chest got slightly stronger.  
- I don't know, I can't remember. Probably something that I ate…  
- Right… - he said. – Lying doesn't suit you, you know.  
She pushed herself away gently and looked in the eyes.  
- Can we just…forget about that? Please?  
- Fine, as you wish.

-/-

- There! Garbage is out, dust is gone, dishes are cleaned and in place and your laundry is in the washing machine. – she said, taking a good breath.  
His fingers ran through his hair and he sighed.  
- I'm really sorry that you had all this trouble…and I'm thankful.  
She sat next to him on his bed, with a smile on her face.  
- No problem!  
- Can you ask you one thing? You will hate me for it…  
- Sure.  
- My mail…downstairs…I probably have lots of bills to pay…  
- Oh! Right! I'll get them! – she said, taking off.

She grabbed the bunch of letters and began her way up, shuffling them.  
There was one in particular who caught her attention.  
It was from someone named Li as well.  
She went in and made her way to him, who was lying on his bed.  
- Hey Li…- she began.  
- Did you forget my name?  
- Ah…no...  
He looked at her.  
- Syaoran. – she said blushing and making him smile.  
- Hm… you were right, lots of bills, but…this one is not a bill. – she said handing him the letter.  
His face closed as soon as he read the sender's name.  
- This is trash.  
- Syaoran…aren't those…your parents?  
He didn't answer, just ripped the letter in two.  
- I don't want them in my life.  
- Did they hurt you? They didn't care for you? Is that it?  
- No.  
- Then why all that hate? They are probably worried about you! You could be dead right now and they wouldn't know!  
- Oh trust me, they would know. I'm pretty sure that's the reason behind this letter; they know I had the accident.  
- How?  
- Connections.  
- So, there you have it, they care about you, they want to-  
- But I don't want them! I don't want to be their son! They won't buy me again! – he said, trying to control his anger.  
She sat on the edge of the bed, her hand on top of his.  
- You will never make peace with your past if you don't face it…You're holding on to that anger and pain…you need to do something about it.  
- Sakura. – he began. – I…like you. I do. But don't talk about my past or my parents like you could possibly know something, because you don't.  
- You're right, I don't know anything about it. – she said, a hint of sadness in her voice. – I just don't like seeing you suffer…  
- It doesn't hurt as much when you're around. As long as you don't talk about this. – he said, a weak smile on his lips.  
She leaned her body on his, laying her head on his chest.  
- I like you too. – she said in a low voice.  
His stomach turned upside down and his skin crawled at the sound of her voice.

-/-

Days passed.  
Sakura would attend her classes and then, get notes from Syaoran's colleagues, so he could study at home. He had a month of classes to catch up on.  
She would visit him every day and stay for a few hours.  
It was raining that day, and Sakura had forgotten her umbrella at the boarding house.  
When he opened the door and laid his eyes on her sopping wet figure, his lips parted in surprise. Water dripped from her hair, her clothes stuck to her body and she trembled with cold.  
- W-what in the world were you thinking?! – he said, letting her in and closing the door. – Look at you! Get in the shower!  
- I…I didn't know it was going to rain…- she tried to explain.  
- But you should have gone home, not here! Are you trying to get sick? – he said, his voice slightly altered. – Shower, now!  
She finally gave a small nod and made her way to his bathroom.  
He followed, walking with his crutches and throwing a clean towel at her before she closed the door.  
The small bathroom was decorated in shades of pistachio green, had no windows and it was always very clean.  
Before taking her clothes off, she turned the water on and only then her wet clothes hit the floor.  
The warmth of the water sliding down her skin felt like heaven .

Syaoran tried to ignore the sound of the shower working, focusing on his laptop.  
The image of her soaked clothes sticking to her body wouldn't leave his mind, slightly colouring his cheeks.  
There was a folded black long sleeve shirt and a pair of black boxer shorts lying on his bed, waiting for her.  
The water stopped and a few minutes later, Sakura came out the door wrapped in the towel he had given her, dragging the scent of his shower products with her.  
He tried his best not to stare.  
- I used your shower gel…and your shampoo…I hope you don't mind…- she said timidly, her cheeks splashed with pink.  
- It's fine. – he replied, not taking his eyes out of his laptop, while scrolling down on something.  
She took a few steps in his direction, which made him look at her.  
- Thank you.  
She had a soft and caring smile on her lips, her skin was wet, smelled similar to him and was too exposed to his eyes.  
- These…are for you. – he said pointing to the folded clothes on his bed.  
- Oh…thanks. The bathroom is a bit wet, though…  
- I can turn around, so you can dress here, if you'd rather.  
- Hm…sure.  
Both had their cheeks quite warm.  
Syaoran got up from the bed, bracing himself on the crutches and turned his back to her.  
Embarrassed, she unwrapped the towel and dried her skin, always with an eye on him.  
The brushing sound of the towel against her skin made him swallow.  
She dressed the black shirt and put on his boxers.  
- Well…this is a first…- she said, sheepishly. – You can turn now. It's okay.  
Supporting himself on his crutches, he turned around just to see his shirt hanging loose on her  
feminine frame, the hem of the shirt a palm below her underwear – well_, his_.  
- What is? – he said, sitting on his bed pushing away any thoughts about her figure. She joined him.  
- Wearing male underwear…- she said with pink cheeks.  
- If it's any consolation, you're the first girl wearing my clothes. – he said, focusing on his laptop.  
Butterflies filled her stomach. She leaned on him, her head falling on his shoulder.  
- What are you doing?  
- Studying.  
- Hm…  
She watched him tap the keyboard keys, typing things that were a bit too complicated for her to understand.  
Even though he wouldn't show it, the pressure of her body on his was distracting, especially when she smelled like him and her thighs were completely exposed.  
- What are you going to do now…? – she began. – I mean, about your bike…and the hospital bills…  
He stopped typing and turned his face to her, who tilted her head a little so she could look at him.  
- I haven't seen the bike yet, but from what I've heard from the police…it's trash. – he sighed. – And the bills…the police is blaming me for the accident, so, the insurance won't cover it and…I'll have to pay for it, somehow. Maybe another job.  
Her hand stretched out to grab his, interlacing her fingers with his.  
- I don't care whose fault it was…I'm just happy that you're here. And…I'd help you pay for that if I could…  
- Don't worry about this, okay? It's not your problem. It's mine.  
- I'm your friend…I care…- her grip became stronger.  
He didn't say anything, just looked at her face.  
It was so difficult not to kiss her.  
A song came up, startling them both. She jumped from the bed, reaching for the phone in her bag.  
- Yes?  
- _Hey, little monster.  
- _Toooya, I'm not a monster! – she replied, her voice noticeable annoyed.  
She heard the man on the other side of the line chuckle.  
- _I'm just checking on you. Mom and dad charged me of that. How are you doing?  
_- I'm good, as always. How are things there? Are mom and dad okay?  
- _Yea, they are, happy as ever. Things are good, I got a promotion.  
-_ Really? That's great! I'm so happy for you!  
- _How's that friend of yours…? The one that made you leave too soon because he was in the hospital?  
_- Ah…he's okay. He got out of the hospital a few days ago.  
- _Hm…is he really just a friend, Sakura?  
- _Toya, don't even start…and I have to go now.  
- _Okay. Take care little monster.  
_- Bye Toya! – she said, hanging up right after.  
Syaoran looked at her with curiosity.  
- It was my brother…Just checking on me and all, like the big brother he is.  
- Oh, so you have an older brother.  
- Yea…and you? Do you have any? – she asked, sitting by his side.  
After some long seconds of silence, he finally looked at her.  
- Five sisters.  
- Five?!  
- Yes, all older than me.  
- Wow.  
He managed to put a smile on his face.  
- And…you never talk to them…? – she began. - Don't you miss them?  
That soft smile slowly faded from his lips and he looked away.  
- Sakura…I don't really want to talk about this…  
- Maybe it'd do you good…to talk about caged feelings…  
He closed his laptop, put it on a table nearby and let himself fall back.  
She laid beside him.  
- I like it when you say my name.  
Syaoran swallowed and took a deep breath. She had such a strong influence in him.  
- It's a pretty name. Your parents chose it well.  
Her cheeks got warmer, while her eyes relaxed with all the affection she was feeling.  
- I like yours too. Has a strong, yet soft tone to it. It's imposing, yet kind…  
- It means Little Wolf.  
- Eeeeh? – she exclaimed surprised, shifting to a sitting position.  
He chuckled at her reaction.  
- From the chinese, Xiao Lang. Anyway…just forget about it.  
- I like it even better now!  
His eyes roamed her face and a sudden sadness hit him.  
- Why do you care about me so much? Even after the way I treated you...  
At first, she was surprised by his question but his sadness quickly got to her.  
- I just do…I don't think I need a reason to care about you…  
- The way I treated you was enough for you to dislike me, and yet…here you are.  
- I thought you were rude and mean, yes.  
- Don't forget horrible. – he teased, making her blush in regret.  
- …but I saw something in you. – she began. – And I wasn't wrong! I've been right all along! You are kind…and nice and sweet…- she listed, like if she was defending someone.  
He felt his heart race inside his chest, but she was far enough for him to control himself. If she were still lying beside him, with her face so near his, maybe he would have lost it.  
- You are the kind one. And that is why you see kindness in others.  
Bending her head, she fiddled with her fingers in her lap.  
- No. – she began. – If you weren't kind, I wouldn't see it. What you're saying would imply that I think everyone is kind just because I am, and things aren't like that…  
She lifted her head with a soft smile, seeing that he was smiling too.  
Syaoran propped himself on his arms, so he could sit.  
- Ugh. Can't wait to get rid of this cast. – he said, reaching for his crutches. – Do you think you could help me with dinner?  
- Uh?!  
- Yea, I could use some help…  
- You know I can't cook. Besides…does that mean I'm staying over?  
- Well, tomorrow's Saturday and your clothes are soaked, which reminds me it would be a good idea to wash them.  
- You don't mind…?  
- I won't answer that.

-/-

Sakura woke up in the middle of the night with her mouth almost dry.  
He lied next to her, fast asleep with his chest up and his head fallen to her side.  
With a light touch, she pushed away some hair that fell over his eyes.  
Syaoran had insisted that she slept on the bed because the couch wasn't comfortable enough, and since they had already shared a bed before, she gave in.  
It was enjoyable just to stand there watching him breathe, so vulnerable and with his walls completely down, knowing that he didn't mind sleeping by her side.  
She got closer to his face. It couldn't hurt, right? He was sleeping, he wouldn't even notice, he would never know.  
Gently, she pressed her lips on his, feeling its warmth for the first time.  
It surprised her when his lips pressed back.  
She pulled away and saw that he was still sleeping as before.

The glass touching her lips felt too hard and cold, after feeling his lips.  
She roamed his quiet apartment, illuminated only by the light coming from the windows.  
Everything was a piece of him; of who he was. The posters of the movies he liked hanging on the walls; the lack of clutter, the cosiness, the simplicity.  
Her eyes stopped on a familiar envelope lying on top of the table near the front door; it was the letter from his family. He had kept it and read it.  
She put the glass down and held the two pieces of the letter together.  
_  
"Dear son,  
We managed to find your current address. I'm sorry, we know you don't want to be found.  
Word from your accident got to us and we couldn't just ignore it.  
We thought about going there and seeing you, but you would just send us away, wouldn't you?  
Wholeheartedly, we hope you are okay.  
Your sisters wanted to go there as soon as she learned what happened._  
_Syaoran, I wonder when you will come back to us. When will you make peace with your past?  
It hurts not having you here, our only boy. We all miss you dearly.  
Please, don't hesitate to tell us if you need anything. We are your family, we love you and we are here for you._

Much love, Mom and Dad."

She had to tilt her head back and blink her eyes several times, or else those tears would have rolled down her cheeks.  
"They care about him…He is loved…"  
At the footnote of the letter, there was a phone number and an address.  
She had to contact them.

-/-

The next day, she left when her clothes were clean and dry.  
It was difficult to leave him, not only because of how she felt for him, but also because of that letter and that subtle touch of lips.  
Entering her room, she hurried to dial the number she had saved on her phone.  
She didn't know how he would react to her doing this, but it was for the best.

-/-

Sunday came, bringing the sun.  
With a smile on his face, Syaoran opened the door to her usual guest.  
- Hi…- she greeted timidly.  
- Hey you.  
She went in, closing the door behind her.  
- Finally some sun, uh? – she said, a hint of nervousness in her behaviour.  
He squinted his eyes at her.  
- Yea, the sun. Is there something wrong?  
- Hm? No, no. Everything's fine.  
A knock on the door made her almost jump, which didn't go unnoticed to him.  
- C-can I open it?  
His eyes didn't change a bit, but he gave her a light nod.  
She turned to open the door, swallowing hard.  
The faces of his parents made her widen her eyes.  
His mother was beautiful. She had pale skin, which contrasted with her dark eyes and dark straight long hair and dressed in a very elegant way. The expression on her face told her she was anxious.  
His father was tall, had dark eyes and dark hair as well. He appeared to be calmer than his wife.  
Sakura heard a short gasp behind her and got out of the way, allowing Syaoran to see who stood at the door, even though he had already seen them.  
- What are you doing here?! – he asked, his voice showing how nervous he was.  
- I-I asked them…to come…  
He looked at her in a way she had never seen him look; hurt and disappointment all over his face.  
- How could you? How dare you?! – he shouted. – You knew!  
- Syaoran…please calm down, we just want to talk…- his mother intervened.  
- I don't want to talk! Leave! All of you! - he looked especially at Sakura.  
She gave him a weak smile, even though she was hurt at his shouting.  
- I will leave…but please, listen to what they have to say… - she said, walking out the door.  
His eyes widened slightly at her smile.  
- Syaoran…- the soft voice of his mother made him swallow hard. – Can we come in?  
He turned his head to the side, tightening his jaws.  
- Fine.  
Her expression softened and they went in, closing the door.  
- That girl, Sakura, called us. – she began. – She was worried about you. She said it was time for you to find peace…  
- She didn't have the right. – he said through gritted teeth.  
- Didn't you hear what I just said…? She is worried about you.  
His focal point was the wall and his teeth remained gritted.  
- Is she your girlfriend? – his mother asked, a soft smile on her lips.  
- No, she isn't. Not even sure if I can call her a friend.  
- Don't be like that…She called us out of care, for you.  
- Well, we didn't come here to talk about her. – his father intervened. – We have been worried about you for the past five years. If it weren't for our connections, we wouldn't even know if you're dead or alive. You got yourself into an accident, a pretty serious one and not even then you called us. Not one call.  
He listened in silence.  
- We paid the hospital bill, we knew you couldn't do it.  
Syaoran looked at them with a mix of surprise and anger.  
- What?! I don't need your help!  
- Yes, you do. You can't go through life without the help of others. Even if you're rich or powerful…everyone needs help from others.  
His mother took the liberty to sit down on the couch and patted for them to sit with her.  
Next to her, sat his father and Syaoran sat on a pouf near the couch, quite upset.  
- Your sisters miss you so much… They don't understand why you left.  
- Well, they don't know you bought me, do they?  
- Syaoran…we paid to have you only because that was what your biological parents asked.  
We didn't pay for any of your sisters, they were regular adoptions. If your parents had given you up without asking for anything, it would have been a regular adoption too…  
Why do you crucify us that much? We just wanted to be your parents, we just wanted to take care of you… - said his mother, pouring her heart out.  
- I felt like an object! Can't you see that? They sold me! And you bought me! Like a damn sack of potatoes!  
- We never looked at you like that! You were the boy we couldn't have! We cared about you, we loved you, we tried our best to make you happy! – his father said, frustrated.  
Syaoran bent his head, the pressure on his jaws just getting stronger.  
- We…we get it, son. You feel like an object, like a possession and you ran away because you wanted to be free of that. – his father began, trying to be as understanding as possible. – But we can assure you…we love you, truly. You are our son and we were so worried when we knew about the accident…  
He didn't notice when his mother kneeled in front of him, her hands reaching for his face.  
His teary eyes widened at the touch of his mother's hands.  
- My boy…my only boy. – she said in a low tone. She too, was on the verge of crying.  
That was enough to bring him to tears. He hadn't cried in years and now it was all coming out.  
His mother hugged him, his head hiding in the curve of her neck and his crying muffled by her hair.  
- Mom…- he whispered between sobs.  
One of her hands caressed his head softly, while her husband tried to push his own tears back.  
- I'm…I'm sorry…  
All that caged pain, anger and now guilt, pouring out.  
- It's okay son…it's okay…

-/-

Sakura laid on her bed, soft music playing in the background.  
A knock on her door startled her.  
- Yes? – she replied, sitting on her bed.  
- Hi, sorry to bother you. You have someone downstairs looking for you. – said a middle-aged woman.  
Sakura blinked.

Stepping down the last few steps, she saw who it was.  
- Syaoran… - she said in a low voice, her eyes widening and her cheeks getting warmer.  
He gave her a faint smile, a hint of guilt hovering in his eyes.  
- Hey… Can we…talk? – he said timidly.  
- Sure…

They walked to a park nearby and sat on bench.  
He swallowed hard and cleared his throat.  
- Sakura I…want to apologize to you. – he began.- I shouldn't have talked to you like that yesterday…  
He reached for her hand and held her fingers in his hand.  
- I really am sorry.  
- It's fine. I already forgot about it. – she said, with a soft smile and gripping his hand. – Have you talked to your parents?  
- I have.  
There was a silence that bothered her.  
- And…do you…want to talk about it? – she asked, a bit fearful.  
He looked at her.  
- I do. – he answered with a small smile on his face. – I was my usual rude self, but they didn't give up…  
She listened attentively, while observing the way his eyes moved, how messy his hair was and how his facial hair was starting to show, probably from not shaving for a few days.  
- I ended up crying like a baby… - he confessed, giving a sad chuckle. – Like I hadn't in years. And I said I was sorry…  
The gripping on her hand got stronger.  
- Thank you. – he said, his smile was light but genuine.  
She blushed at his intense stare but managed to smile at him.  
- So everything's good now?  
- Well…they are not mad at me…and I'm not mad anymore…so I think so.  
- And…what will happen now? You're going home with them?  
- No. I like my independence…but I'll visit them.  
She smiled at him.  
- They paid my hospital bill, and offered to buy me a car, since my bike is gone and I need a ride…  
- Really? How nice! Did you accept it…?  
- Not right away, no…I felt and still feel bad for the way I behaved for the past five years, but they were quite persistent so in the end, I accepted it.  
- I'm really glad that everything's okay now…Really, really glad.  
She showed him a bright smile and got pulled in for a hug, which caught her off guard.  
- S-Syaoran…  
- It was all thanks to you…  
He could feel the weight and warmth of her head against his neck, her soft hair tickling his skin, while he kept her in his arms and a kind smile remained on his lips.

* * *

I just finished writing the epilogue, so, I officially finished this fic.  
I was so YAY I couldn't hold myself, and decided to give you one more chap.

No, there hasn't been a mistake. There isn't a September. He spent it at the hospital. What fun would it be to write a whole month of that? xD

Thank you for reading and reviewing, you all have been really kind to me!


	6. November

There'll be a song in this, "Do I Wanna Know "- Arctic Monkeys.  
Just in case you want to play it during the scene.

* * *

The weather was getting colder, people would wear their scarves, beanies and thickest coats.  
Sakura entered the familiar bar, the one she had entered so many times before.

She loosened up the scarf around her neck and unbuttoned two buttons of her coat, keeping her black beanie on.  
Syaoran was finally back at work, no more casts, no more pain.  
Even though he was busily serving drinks, he noticed when she sat at the counter, those beautiful green eyes and lips curved in a shy smile.  
He hurried to serve the last drinks and stopped in front of her, throwing a small towel on his shoulder.  
- Good to be back uh? – she asked, being a little cheeky.  
- Ah yes, yes it is. – he replied with satisfaction. - Can I get you anything?  
- Hm…Water would be fine, please.  
He smiled at her request and got her a glass and a bottle of water.  
- There you go…and that fits me better! – he said snatching the beanie out of her head and putting it on.  
- Hey! – she complained, trying to retrieve what was hers by stretching her arm over the counter.  
He only smirked, turning to the the mirror lined wall and adjusting the beanie to his head.  
- See? Looks way better on me. – he said turning back to her.  
She rolled her eyes, somewhat pouting.  
The night went on with some glances and shy smiles, while he worked.  
At her side sat a man who appeared to be her age, his hair and eyes were dark and he was quite good looking.  
- Drinking water at a bar…well, that's unusual. – he stated with a smile on his face.  
She blushed at his remark and the grip on the glass tightened.  
- Can I ask you why?  
- Hm…I just don't feel like drinking alcohol tonight. – she said, forcing a smile.  
- I see. Then I won't be able to buy you drink. – he said. – Unless…I could buy you a coffee one of these days.  
The pink on her cheeks intensified, realizing she was being hit on.  
Syaoran noticed it too.  
- Maybe…- she replied not knowing what to answer.  
- Okay, I completely managed to make you uncomfortable…My bad. – he apologized. – I'm Kazuya. – he said, stretching his hand for her to shake it.  
- Kinomoto. – she said, briefly shaking his hand.  
- Last name uh? Wow, you must be scared of me.  
- Ah…n-no, not at all. I'm just not used to…  
- Not used to have men approaching you? – he chuckled.  
- Y-yea…  
While cleaning glasses, he kept an eye on the situation feeling angry for no apparent reason.  
- And again, you didn't tell me she was here! – said his boss over his shoulder.  
He almost jumped in place.  
- Don't do that. And I forgot, ok?  
- Who is that guy talking to her? – his boss asked, finding it strange.  
- How should I know? He just sat there and started hitting on her. – he said, a trace of annoyance in his voice.  
- Last time that didn't end well.  
- Doesn't seem the case this time. He's playing it cool.  
- And why aren't you doing anything?  
- Uh?  
- Well, are you just going to let that guy seduce her?  
- What do I have to do with it? – he said, focusing on cleaning the glass in his hand.  
- Oh I don't know…maybe the way you feel about her, which is pretty damn clear to me! – he stated annoyed at his stubborn employee.  
- What about it? She's my friend, that's it.  
- There's no use in fighting feelings, boy. They always win. – he said as an advice.  
Syaoran stopped spinning the glass in his hands and clenched his jaws.  
- Let me put it this way: how would you feel if some other guy took her to himself?  
The grip on the glass grew stronger and he glanced at Sakura, who seemed to be more at ease.  
- A girl like that…how long do you think it will take before a guy comes and takes her away?  
Syaoran put the glasses away, one by one.  
- I'm going home now, if you don't mind. – he said dryly.  
- Sure. See you tomorrow then.  
Sakura saw him get out from behind the counter and stop.  
- I'm going now, are you staying?  
She blushed as if she had been caught doing something wrong and got up from the stool, ready to leave.  
- I've got to go now…But nice to meet you. – she said with a smile.  
- Ah…wait. Can I have your phone number…? So I can buy you that coffee?  
Her cheeks got warmer and she gave a quick glance at Syaoran who was staring at the door.  
- S-sure… - she said, taking his phone and typing in her number. – There, now I have to go. Bye!

The trip home was made in silence. She noticed how he didn't seem to be in a good mood.  
His car was comfortable and he was as good at driving it as he was at driving his bike.  
The radio was what saved her from the uncomfortable silence.

"_Have you got colour in your cheeks?  
Do you ever get that fear that you can't shift_

Do I wanna know  
If this feeling flows both ways?"

His jaws tightened and he gave her a quick glance through the corner of his eyes.  
He felt the urge to turn off the radio, but that would be too suspicious, so he tried to ignore it.

"_Sad to see you go  
Was sort of hoping that you'd stay_"

He stopped the car in front of her boarding house and kept staring ahead.

"_Baby we both know  
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day_

So have you got the guts?"

- Well, this is your stop. – he finally said, looking at her trying to smile.

"_Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts_"

- Yea…so it seems. – she said, also smiling. – I like the car. You're a great driver too.  
- Thanks. – he replied, his cheeks getting slightly warm.

"_I'm sorry to interrupt. It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you  
I don't know if you feel the same as I do  
But we could be together if you wanted to_"

The song was making her heart race with anxiety, without realizing her eyes were set on his for too long. He was the one to break the eye contact by turning his head back to the road.  
- Well… it's late. – she began. – Thank you for bringing me home.  
She took off her seat belt and got out of the car, slamming the door carefully.  
Not satisfied with letting her go just like that, he opened the window on the passenger's side.  
- Hey.  
Hearing his voice stopped her and she turned around, approaching his car and leaning forward.  
- Sleep well. – he wished, still digesting the things he was feeling. – And, see you soon, perhaps?  
She gave him a warm smile.  
- Yes! Definitely…  
He returned the smile and they both went their separate ways.

Syaoran sat on his bed with his legs crossed, back against the wall, trying to focus on his laptop, typing and re-typing whole sentences.  
He couldn't write a single sentence that sounded right.  
His mind was somewhere else.  
Sakura had gone out on a date with that guy from the bar.  
" _I-it's not really a date…He's just buying me coffee_…"

"-Right. You're not that naïve, are you? It's a date. He's hunting you." – he thought leaning his head against the wall, his jaws tensing.

"_There's no use in fighting feelings, boy. They always win."_  
"_Let me put it this way: how would you feel if some other guy took her to himself?"_  
"_A girl like that…how long do you think it will take before a guy comes and takes her away?"_  
"(…)_the way you feel about her, which is pretty damn clear to me!"_

He slammed shut his laptop and put it aside, letting his body fall to the side, his head still a bit far from the pillow.  
_"(…)the way you feel about her, which is pretty damn clear to me!"_  
His boss's voice was playing repeatedly inside his head.  
The idea of that guy making her smile, laugh and blush made him nauseous, let alone touch or kiss.  
The image of her toffee hair blowing in the wind on the beach, while she smiled at him came to his mind, building knots in his stomach.  
- …damn clear, old man…? – he muttered, his expression almost blank.  
- …please explain to me…because I don't…understand what's going on…- he continued, his eyes now mirroring the conflict that was going on inside of him.  
A hit on the door made his eyes shoot wide open.  
- Sakura… - he whispered.  
Somewhat fast, he made his way to the door and opened it, just to see her standing there in dark jeans, camel flat ankle boots and a thick beige coat wrapping her.  
His eyes observed her face, how she smiled at him and the way her eyes relaxed.  
He found it hard to breathe, and his heart seemed to be inside his stomach.  
- Syaoran…?  
With a sudden yank, she found herself inside and the door being shut hastily.  
- Syao-  
He didn't let her finish, pinning her to the door and taking his hands to cup her face.  
His lips pressed strongly against hers and his eyes shut tightly.  
Seconds later, he pulled back, staying a few inches from her face.  
Her green eyes opened slowly, meeting his, which were charged with fear and guilt.  
- Forgive me…I…  
- No…- she said under her breath, her heart jumping inside her chest.  
His eyes widened at her negative answer.  
- Don't apologize…- she said, shooting her head forward and taking his lips with hers.  
When the initial shock wore out his hands wandered almost to the back of her head, while his lips danced with hers in an intense first kiss.  
Again, he was the one to break it, finishing it by brushing his lips on hers.  
Their eyes met again, this time half lidded.  
He felt the need to moisten his throat, as he couldn't believe what had just happened.  
- I…- he observed her green eyes, trying to put a sentence together. – I…don't trust myself around you...- he began, his eyes the most transparent they had ever been. - I'm not myself...at least not the person I knew me to be…  
- I-is that…bad? – she said in a low tone.  
- I…I don't know…this is new to me…- he confessed. – I have never felt like this before…  
His hands slid back to her jaws, his thumbs softly caressing her cheeks.  
- I'm a mess…- he said, leaning his forehead against hers, closing his eyes in slight hurt.  
Her hands went up, one curling around his wrist and the other caressing his face.  
She saw his eyes slowly open at her touch and she closed hers, gently pressing her lips on his.  
It was a quiet, long kiss. One he had never had before.  
His hands gently fell from her face, and wrapped around her waist, bringing her closer.  
Her lips moved, capturing his lower lip and he reciprocated, initiating a new dance.  
The hand caressing his face, slid to his nape, her fingers entwining in his hair.  
Soon, their tongues got out of their cages to explore, the grip of his hands on her waist getting stronger and their breathing becoming somewhat ragged.  
Lips parted, still brushing as they tried to breathe and her eyes set on his.  
- I think I know how you feel…- she said in a low tone, a soft smile forming on her lips.  
He closed his eyes taking in her warmth, feeling her body with his hands.  
- I don't-I can't lose you…- he stated in the same tone as hers, his eyes still closed.  
- Does this feel wrong to you? – she asked quietly, her hand sliding down from his neck to his shoulder.  
He kept silent.  
Slow and gently, she took a step back.  
- I can wait…- she said, with the same soft smile.  
Startled by her withdrawal, he pulled her in for a hug, surprising her.  
- No... – he whispered. - I want you near…I want your lips, your voice, your smile…- he confessed, a hint of despair in his voice.  
- Syaoran…- she whispered, her eyes wide open.  
- You don't have to wait…okay? – he said, his hands pressing her harder. – I want you by my side. That I know...  
She smiled, almost tearing up and wrapped her arms around him not saying a word.  
They stood like that for what it seemed an eternity to him.  
- Please say something…- nerves clouding his voice.  
She pulled away and showed him her smile.  
- What do you want me to say?  
- I don't know! Something…I'm feeling a little exposed here… - the warmth of his cheeks had become quite apparent.  
She chuckled at his nervousness.  
- Would it be okay if I slept here tonight?  
He swallowed hard and ran his fingers through his hair.  
- Hm…Yea, I guess…  
- Great! – she said with a genuine smile, grabbing his hand and dragging him with her to the couch.  
She fell on her back and he fell on top, bracing himself on his arms, his face just inches away from hers.  
Her hands went to the back of his head bringing him closer. Their lips brushed, light captures of each other's lips then evolved to fuller kisses.  
Their tongues fondling in a passionate kiss, while her fingers got lost in his hair.  
The feeling of a stuck groan in his throat and the heat of their bodies made him pull out for air, turning his face to the side trying to regain some control.  
- Syaoran…- she whispered, gently turning his face back to her.  
- I really don't want to mess this up…- he confessed.  
- You're not…- she tried to reassure him.  
He sighed and got up.  
- Better start making dinner… - he said going to the kitchen.  
He braced himself on the counter, head bent down and his eyes closed.  
A hand on his shoulder brought him back from his thoughts.  
Lifting his head and turning it to the side, he saw Sakura standing there, with the most sympathetic look on her face.  
- It's okay…  
- I'm sorry… - he began, his eyes sincere. – That guy who asked you on a date wouldn't do this.  
- I told you it was not a date…It was only coffee…  
- It was a date to him.  
- I'm not interested in him...  
- Maybe you should…he seemed to be the type of guy who is sure of how he feels. – he said, his self-esteem lacking.  
She noticed how his jawbones were tense and how his voice was soaked with inner conflict.  
He opened a cabinet so he could take a pan, and the door hit her in the head.  
She let out a grunt of pain, taking her hand to her forehead.  
- Shit! I'm so sorry!- he said, cupping her face worriedly.  
His fingers careful pushed her hair to the side, checking her forehead.  
- Is it hurting much?  
- No…its fading...  
- I'm sorry… – he repeated, his hands still holding her face and his face expressing guilt and sadness.  
- Syaoran, it's okay…- she said, touching his face.  
- No, it's not… – he stated visibly angry at himself.  
But she wasn't. She knew what was going on. All those years pushing people away, putting up a facade, never really developing feelings for anyone, had made things hard for him.  
Now that he finally had someone close to him, he was having trouble understanding how he really felt.  
She gave him a warm smile.  
- How about we order pizza?

- How's your head…? – he asked, after finishing his pizza.  
- It's fine!  
- You're sure?  
She nodded.  
Syaoran got up, putting the boxes in the trash and washing his hands after it.  
- I'll need to borrow a shirt from you…  
- Sure. – he replied, drying his hands while she washed hers.  
He walked to a chest of drawers and picked a navy blue sweater.  
- Would this be okay?  
She turned to him, putting down the hand towel.  
- Yea, it's fine. I'll go get changed…- she said happily, taking it from his hands.  
His shoulders went down with a sigh.  
The moment when he had pinned her to the door kept replaying in his mind, followed by that long quiet kiss and how soft her tongue felt.  
He only noticed her presence when he felt his hand being taken by hers.  
She was wearing his sweatshirt, the hem hitting right below her underwear, and cream knee high socks.  
- Is it warm enough? – he asked, not paying attention to the amount of exposed skin.  
- Yea! – she said, sitting on his bed and pulling him.  
- Sakura… maybe it would be better if I slept on the couch …  
- No way. – she said softly, pulling the covers and getting into bed. – Come.  
He sighed, putting his doubts aside.  
- I'll go get changed...  
She smiled at him.

Slipping into bed, he laid on his side facing her and she leaned her body on his.  
- You're afraid… aren't you? – she asked softly and caring. – Afraid that you might do something wrong and push me away…  
Her fingers traced his cheek and then his lips.  
His eyes had a hint of worry, like if he was holding back.  
- You know… I was really happy when you said you wanted me by your side…  
He gave her a light smile.  
She slid her head across the pillows and her lips met his in a quiet kiss.  
Her hand pushed his shoulder back, forcing him to lie on his back and she passed one of her legs to the other side of his body, lying of top of him.  
His heart was uncontrolled and he could feel the blood running through his veins.  
Even though her touch was delicate, it almost burned.  
- Sakura…- he muttered breaking the kiss. – I don't think this is a good idea…  
She didn't listen and kissed him again, clutching his upper lip with hers.  
His hands went to her waist with the intent to push her back, but the kiss made him give in.  
- You said you wanted my lips…- she whispered against his lips, her cheeks warm.  
- And I do…- he whispered back.  
Slowly and playfully, she brushed her lips on his, until he captured her lower lip between his, the kiss becoming deeper as their tongues touched each other and their lips were made prisoners.  
His hands wandered down, passing the sides of her underwear and touching her thighs.  
It all felt different from when he used to be with other women. He used to have control over his actions, even under the influence of alcohol.  
But with her, his mind went blank so easily...  
He broke the kiss and silently cleared his throat, his hands stopped on her thighs.  
- Sakura…- he began, looking into her eyes. – Let's go to sleep…okay? I-I'm tired…I studied most of the day, so…  
She gave him a last kiss before getting off of him.  
He couldn't tell if it was a relief or a disappointment when she got back to his side on the bed.  
- Syaoran. – she called looking at the ceiling.  
He looked at her attentively.  
- I'm not going anywhere. – she said, turning her head to face him. – You can't push me away. – she finished with the same smile.  
He leaned in to kiss her, his hand caressing her face.  
- This is…new to me. Not the kissing; not the touching; but…the way I feel about you…- he began, his eyes observing hers. – It's…strong…and vivid…I can't think straight and I have nothing to compare this to…  
Sakura just listened, her hand overlapping his.  
- All I really know is…I can't stand the idea of some other guy touching you…- he said, stressing "can't stand". – And I want you close to me…safe and smiling…  
She smiled at him and touched his lips with hers.  
- There's a name for that…you know?  
- I know…- he began, laying his head on his pillow again. – I just…need a little more time to clear things up...  
Syaoran felt his fingers being carefully entwined with hers and looking at her, she had that sweet smile that only she could have.  
- Of course, I can't ask that of you…to just sit around and wait for me to organize my feelings…- he continued. – It's not fair…  
- I like sitting around with you. And I think you really need to sleep…  
He gave her a soft smile.

Morning came dark and rainy.  
The cold on his arms and the sound of the rain woke him up.  
His body felt heavier and hotter than usual and it took one look down to truly wake up.  
Half of her body was on top of him, starting by her head on his chest and her arm over his stomach, to her leg overlapping his. She didn't seem to be bothered by the cold.  
Syaoran looked at the ceiling, taking in the feeling of having her there with him, so vulnerable and relaxed.  
The kissing and the way he had felt came to his mind.  
He looked down again, observing her face. She looked so innocent.  
_"- I was wondering if you'd like to grab a bite with me, as non-friends."  
"- Do you consider me your friend, now?"  
"…you think I'm her boyfriend?"  
_They were definitely friends. But friends don't feel the need to kiss or to hold close.  
And that was exactly what he wanted to do.  
He noticed how his thumb already was caressing her arm. He had never felt so content; so whole.  
The question wasn't so much about how he felt with her, but how he felt about her._  
_Her arm and her head moved a bit, making him smile.  
That smile also came from beginning to understand how he really felt.  
Suddenly, his phone rang, vibrating on his night stand. Startled, he reached for it, realizing that it had woken her up.  
- Yes?  
- Good morning son. – his father greeted. – How are you doing?  
- Uh…I'm…I'm good. – he replied, a sleepy Sakura staring at him. – And you?  
- We're all well. Listen, your mother and I were thinking that it would be nice if you came back for a few days…your sisters are dying to see you.  
- Uh…Yea…sure, I don't see why not. Is this weekend fine for you?  
- Yes, yes, perfectly fine. This house is yours too you know? So come by whenever you can.  
- Ok then, I will.  
- Take care, son.  
- Yes dad, you too.  
He put the phone away, while she climbed on top of him and left the bed.  
Neither of them said a word and the bathroom door closed, leaving him to his thoughts.  
_"- There's a name for that…you know?"_  
"Is this love? I don't have a clue…but I never felt anything like it before…so maybe it is…or maybe it's the beginning of it…I don't know…"  
He heard the water running in the sink.  
"She seems to be pretty certain of how she feels…She's not like me, anyway. She's much more in contact with her feelings than I am. But…it seems that she feels the same way I do…"  
_"- I think I know how you feel…"  
_The door opened and she dragged herself back to bed, but he got up before she reached it.  
- My turn now. – he said, his voice low, trying to sound relaxed.  
She gave him a sleepy smile and took his spot on the bed, which was warm and cosy.  
His bed smelled like him: clean, manly, a hint of cigarettes.  
She blushed happily enjoying the simple fact that she was sleeping in his bed, waking up to his side.  
Syaoran came out of the bathroom, messing his hair with his hand.  
It didn't take long before she pulled him into bed again.  
- 'Morning. – she said softly, her hand touching his face.  
- Hey…- he greeted back, a smile forming on his lips.  
- Did you sleep well?  
- I did…and you?  
- Never slept better. – she answered with a sweet smile, approaching his lips.  
She kissed his upper lip softly, beginning a trade of caring kisses.  
His hand wandered to her waist, while his tongue slowly made its way to hers.  
She gave him full access to her mouth, which he took advantage of.  
Her hand went to his nape in an attempt to bring him even closer, as she cut the already short distance between their bodies.  
They rolled, putting him on top of her supporting himself on his arms while her other hand caressed his back.  
To him, the sound of her breathing was exciting and relaxing at the same time.  
He could feel her legs spreading under him, allowing them both to be more comfortable.  
Her heart was racing. It was still hard to believe that he liked her that way; that he wanted to kiss her and be with her.  
The temperature was starting rise and the sweaters were suddenly too hot for a day in November.  
In a hit of consciousness, he saw where that was leading, feeling his groin burning and noticing one of his hands on her hip.  
He tried to break the kiss and moistened his throat, pulling himself together.  
- Uh…I…I don't know if we should…- he began, looking somewhat inebriated and conflicted. – Hm…I mean…  
Understanding what he meant, she brushed his lips with hers, finishing with a light kiss.  
He sighed heavily. It was surprisingly hard to control himself. Maybe not in other similar circumstances, but with her, it was. God knew how much he wanted to touch her; kiss her; make her sigh; make her grip the sheets.  
- I really mean it…maybe we should wait…  
- Why…? – she asked almost inaudibly. – If you're worried about me…I'm not-  
She couldn't finish her sentence. Regret flooded her mouth with bitterness and she felt ashamed.  
- Hey…– he said worriedly. – It's okay…I don't care about that…I'm just worried that I might be too…rough…- he said, visibly concerned.  
- I regret it…giving myself to the wrong person…- she began.  
He kissed her forehead lovingly.  
- But I'm not worried about this at all. This feels right.  
Her hands caressed his face, while she tried to put a smile on her face.  
- What if I hurt you…?  
- I've been hurt before…I'm pretty sure you won't do it.- she said, giving him a warm smile.  
- How-  
Her lips took his again, this time making sure that he wouldn't speak so soon.  
As the kiss evolved, he couldn't hold back a soft grunt.  
The hand resting on her hips began its way up, under her sweater, while her hands reached for the hem of his to pull it off.  
His sweater was thrown to the end of the bed and she passed her hands on his chest, feeling every inch of his skin.  
Abruptly, he left her lips and hid his face in the curve of her neck, his hot tongue meeting her skin along with his lips. It didn't take long, until he pushed her sweater a little up and began placing kisses on her belly, giving her goose bumps.  
His lips reached the top of her ribs and he uncovered her breasts, giving her a glance to see if there was any negative reaction. He only saw slight embarrassment, which he found cute and fun.  
Closing his eyes, he slowly licked the small button at the center of her breast, while his hand fondled the other one. To his amusement, she was writhing against his body after a few licks.  
His lips softly pressed her nipple, followed by a warm lick of his tongue.  
He heard her whine as she thrust her hips against his, making it hard for him to hold back.  
Pulling back his hips a little, his hand left her breast and slid down her body, meeting her entrance over her underwear.  
Her body writhed at the contact and after a few seconds she took her sweater off, breathing heavily.  
He stared at her with pure infatuation. Her toffee hair spread on the pillow, her green eyes standing out in great contrast with her rosy cheeks; she looked beautiful.  
Butterflies hit the walls of his stomach like crazy and he smiled warmly, feeling the certainty he had been looking for.  
He leaned in, wearing that smile and slightly rubbing her nose with his.  
- I'm in love with you. – he said, his eyes focused on hers.  
Her eyes widened at the sudden confession and her lips parted.  
She noticed how he seemed to be sure of himself.  
No matter how much she tried, she couldn't put together a reply.  
So, her lips spoke for her. It wasn't a hungry, passionate kiss, but a rather calm one.  
Their lips barely moved, but the feeling was almost stronger than before.  
- You are…? – she asked timidly, against his lips.  
He silently cleared his throat, their eyes half lidded.  
- Yes.  
- You're sure…?  
He smiled, her lips skimming on his.  
- Mm-hmm…  
Her lips seized his in another kiss, this time not as calm.  
His tongue joined in, tickling her upper lip, while his hand slid back down, feeling her core.  
Her fingertips hanged on the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers, teasing the tip of his length, causing him to grunt into her mouth.  
The kiss became eager, as she slid down his clothes, freeing his hardness.  
He had to break it, so he could finish taking them off.  
The embarrassed look on her face made him chuckle.  
- I must say I never had that reaction before…- he joked.  
Even more embarrassed, she grabbed one of the pillows and hit him in the head, which he took amusedly.  
He swatted it aside right after and pinned both her hands to the pillow, above her head, leaning his body to hers and staying a couple of inches away from her face.  
Her breathing was as agitated as his and her lips begged to be taken.  
Instead, he kissed the corner of her mouth, trailing kisses on her jawbone, playfully biting her earlobe, kissing her neck and hearing her sigh.  
His lips made its way to her heart, and then he dragged them to her left breast, inviting his tongue to join in.  
She tried to free her wrists from his hands, but he was stronger and there was no point.  
- Am I hurting you? – he asked, a bit worried.  
- No…no…- she began, her cheeks light pink. – I just want to touch you too…  
As soon as she finished that sentence, he released her wrists and braced himself on his arms.  
Her hands came down to hold his face.  
- I love you. – she said, lovingly.  
He took her lips with need, her hands sliding to the back of his head.  
She could feel his hardness throbbing against her center, making it burn.  
A moan managed to escape from the back of her throat.  
He broke the kiss and propped himself on his knees, his hands hastily stripping her of her underwear and knee socks.  
She closed her eyes, feeling him lean on her again.  
His fingers began exploring her wet entrance, while his lips played with the center of one of her breasts. She gasped when she felt him slowly slip a finger inside.  
A soft moan reached his ears, making him smirk with satisfaction and beginning to slide it in and out on a steady pace.  
Her head fell to the side as her lower back arched in response to what he was doing.  
Even though she avoided making noise – and that didn't go unnoticed to him – he made that hard for her. She couldn't hold soft whines from the agonizing pleasure.  
He was provoking her. His lips and his teeth grazed her neck, all while he inserted a second finger into her wet core. He was delicate, yet firm. She breathed out low moans.  
He too, was finding it hard to control his voice. Her body, her voice and her touch held much power over him.  
His eyes widened a little right before they squinted in pleasure, when he felt her hand wrap his hardness, her thumb circling the tiny slit at the tip, making him close his mouth to supress a louder moan.  
She pulled him in for a kiss, the strokes of her hand on his member making him moan into her mouth and his breathing difficult.  
Their tongues fought intensely, amidst wet lips.  
All of the sudden, he pulled back, panting.  
- Shit! – he said, closing his eyes tightly. – Stop.  
Startled, she immediately stopped, watching him slowly open his eyes, still panting.  
- W-what- Was I hurting you? – she asked, worried.  
- Hurting me? God, no… I was about to come. – he replied, breathing out.  
She blushed and her thumb touched his tip again.  
- Don't you dare. – he warned, pinning her hand to the side and pulling out his fingers from her.  
He had his eyes set on hers, they were loaded with evident passion but mostly love.  
She gave him a sweet smile, one he couldn't resist; not now, that she was his and he was hers.  
The touch of their lips was soft and slow, and then she felt him, slow and torturously going in.  
Their lips parted with a slight gasp, staying an inch away, as he pulled back as slowly as before, just to go in again.  
Her knees rose, bending her legs in the air and her hands traced his back.  
He made an effort to keep his eyes open as he thrust into her, speeding up the pace and feeling her thighs locking him.  
A smile formed on his lips before kissing her.  
The air filled with echoing moans and grunts, some soft, some louder.  
Her fingertips digging into his skin, as she felt him go harder and faster.  
His hands helped him prop himself on his knees, dragging her hips up his tights, her head sliding down the pillow. As soon as the thrusting resumed, her neck arched back with the release of a grunt.  
He swallowed, staring at her body responding to his.  
Such energy; such passion. He felt so alive. His head fell back for a short moment, his face contorted with pleasure.  
She tried to say his name, but couldn't manage to finish it. With a strong thrust, he pushed them both back to their previous position, groaning right on her ear.  
Supressed moans and whining came with her short breathing. Her fingertips almost hurt him, making him gasp.  
He felt her hips react eagerly to him, her walls tightening around his length.  
Her cheeks were strong pink, her eyes closed as her eyebrows furrowed and her neck arched back a little. Her moans never came out completely, as they choked with the lack of air.  
That was his last drop. His hands ripped the sheets from under the mattress, so was the grip.  
He had to clench his teeth hard or he would have bitten something, possibly her.  
His mouth didn't keep closed for long, though. The air ran from his lungs in three exhales, each shorter than the last, bringing deep groans that he had never heard before.  
All she could hear was the heavy panting. Her own lungs desperate for air, his throat trying to stay moist while his hot breathing hit her neck.  
He managed to lift his hand to touch her face. If he didn't have the strength to look at her, he would at least touch her face.  
He cupped her cheek, his thumb making soft movements.  
When he finally gathered some strength, he braced himself of his arm and finally met her still rosy face.  
She smiled tenderly and he returned the smile, a bit cheeky.  
He wanted to speak but words got lost. What if he said something wrong?  
- See…? – she asked softly, breaking the silence. – I was right again…  
His face told her he was confused.  
- You didn't hurt me…- she stated with a smile.  
- You're sure? – he asked, his voice a little husky. – I think I was a bit rough for a first time…and I almost bit you…- he confessed, his cheeks slightly red.  
Her fingers traced his face, his strong jaws, his chin, his lips.  
- You could have. I wouldn't mind…  
He chuckled, burying his face on her neck, kissing it.  
Her hand tangled in his hair, feeling his scalp.  
- Syaoran…  
That brought him back, his heart still not recovered from the love making.  
- I love you. I really do…- she said, with the most caring expression she had.  
He sighed in contentment with a smile on his lips, leaning her forehead on hers.  
- I – he began. – Love you. You're the sun here…not me.  
- That's not true…I find you quite hot…  
His teeth showed up as his smile grew bigger, almost a laugh.  
- I love your smile, even if you don't smile that often…  
- You make me smile. – he said weakly, his lips brushing on hers.  
That kiss was tender, slow, loving. With her, he had discovered more types of kisses than he ever imagined existed. He didn't think it was possible to kiss and feel something different each time.  
- Thank you…  
- Uh? For what?  
- For letting me in…- she said, timidly. – I know I was annoying and a fool but…  
- You weren't a fool. But yea, you were annoying. Only in the beginning though, I swear!  
She hid her face with her hands, but he gently pushed them away.  
- I'm actually glad that your notes flew that day. - he said, honesty showing in his eyes. – You're the best thing to happen to me. Not that you're a 'thing', but…  
She smiled lovingly at his openness with her hand caressing his face.

Their relationship upgrade didn't go unnoticed to the people at college.  
Every time they touched or held hands or smiled at each other, they would get weird looks.  
Some of his classmates had already seen it coming, since she had given herself the trouble to pick up their notes and take it to him.  
Those same colleagues began talking to him.  
But to the majority of the people, professors included, their relationship didn't make sense at all. They saw Syaoran as a distant, cold guy and Sakura as, well, warm and sweet.  
So, the fact that the two of them would occasionally be caught making out in – supposedly – good hide outs, fazed them.

She closed her book, putting it aside, piling some notes and her red reading glasses on top of it.  
Her eyes immediately looked to the window, observing Syaoran leaning on the window.  
Silently, she walked to him, hugging him from behind. He smiled warmly.  
- Close the windooow, it's cooold! – she asked, slightly childish.  
He turned halfway around and squinted her eyes at her, almost smiling with a cigarette between his lips. He still hadn't quit smoking, but smoke way less.  
In a quick move, she stole it and dropped it out the window.  
- Oy! Th-  
Tiptoeing, she shut him up. His hands quickly grabbed her by the waist, her lips taking his with care. He pushed her back gently.  
- You shouldn't kiss me like this…my mouth tastes badly.  
- I don't care…You could taste like strawberries, I still wouldn't care…It's the feeling I get from the kiss that makes me kiss you…not the taste. – she said.  
- Still.  
She softly grabbed his bottom lip with her teeth, her hands going up his neck.  
- Let me brush my teeth…- he said, freeing himself from her and walking to the bathroom.  
He could see her through the mirror while he brushed his teeth. She was right behind him, leaning on the door frame. "How cute" – he thought and smiled.  
He bent his head to spit the lather and wash his mouth.  
Suddenly, he felt her body glued to his, her hand slowly unbuttoning his jeans and slipping inside, caressing his sex over the underwear.  
He almost choked on the water and spurt it out.  
She giggled, feeling the warmth of that area on her hand.  
He sighed deeply and turned around, tooth brush still in his hand.  
- What are you doing? – he asked, slightly amused.  
She got closer to his face, while her hand slipped inside his underwear, watching as he closed his eyes for a brief moment.  
- Sakura…- he began, opening his eyes. – You should…stop…  
He could feel himself getting hard in her hand.  
- Why…? – she asked, dangerously low.  
- You've just thrown away my last cigarette…don't you think I might be angry? – he warned.  
She gave him a teasing stroke, which made him suck his lip a bit.  
In a fast move, he dropped the tooth brush in the sink and grabbed her thighs, lifting her from the ground and pinning her to the wall. She gasped in surprise, while he looked a bit out of himself.  
His lips were less than an inch away from hers and his eyes looked provocative.  
- I warned you.  
She squirmed in his arms, trying to run but he held her strong.  
His lips got closer and his eyes closed at the soft touch.  
The softness didn't last much, though.  
She whined into his mouth, his tongue and lips driving her mad.  
He suddenly stopped and dropped her on her feet, giving a few steps back with the same provocative look.  
Sakura stood there against the wall, breathing heavily and touching her own lips with her fingertips. He smirked at that.  
She watched as he washed his tooth brush and put it away, then going back to his room.  
Her heart raced and her skin screamed for his touch.  
- Syaoran…- she called, so low he barely heard it. He turned around and was pushed to his bed.  
At first his eyes showed how surprised he was at her sudden attack, but that disappeared quickly when they closed as she sat on his lap and kissed him eagerly.  
He didn't notice when he fell back, her body lying on top of him, writhing against his while they kissed. Such a long kiss; their breathing got mixed with their groans.  
His hands roamed her body, grabbing her bottom, then sliding up her back.  
She finally broke the kiss, panting, to take her shirt off.  
- Sakura…- he tried to speak. – Don't you have a test tomorrow…or something?  
- I don't care…- she replied, still panting and kissing him again.  
He didn't protest, instead, he smiled at her hunger.

* * *

And there you go XD

Hm, just to clear something up, I know that Syaoran's behaviour may seem strange, but he really was confused, because he had never felt anything like it. Basically , he was afraid of being wrong and hurting her.

Thank you for reading :)


	7. December

Syaoran opened the door with a shy smile.  
- Hii! – she greeted cheerfully. – I brought cake! – she said, showing him the box.  
He pulled her in, taking the box off her hands and putting it on the hall table.  
- It's freezing outside! You should have told me something and I would have-  
Her lips interrupted his speech, making him relax under her touch.  
- It's fine…-she whispered. – See? I'm warm…- she stated, kissing him again.  
He took his hands to cup her face and deepened the kiss, his tongue tasting her warmth.  
It felt like her tongue and her lips and her body would always be something new, but at the same time, he knew her like the palm of his hand.  
She broke the kiss, her lips still brushing lightly on his.  
- I… got you something. – she said with a smile, pushing back a little bit more, to look into his eyes.  
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and she took a gift out of her bag.  
- Merry Christmas! – she said, giving it to him.  
He blinked and took it, still processing it.  
She bit her lip anxiously, as she watched him tear the wrapping paper and observed his face.  
His eyes widened a bit as soon as he took - what he thought was a frame- and stared at the picture in it. It was them; in the summer, at the beach. Tomoyo had taken lots of photos, and this was one of those.  
It was a close up of their faces; Sakura was hugging him from behind, smiling beautiful as always, and he was visibly trying to hold back a smile in that picture, but his eyes gave him away. That and his hand on her arm.  
- So?! Do you like it? – she asked, impatiently.  
Her voice brought him back and he lifted his head to look back at her with a loving smile on his face.  
- Yes! – he answered, hugging her while still holding the frame. – I love it…Thank you.  
She giggled in happiness and he kissed the side of her head.  
- That's not all.  
He held another gift in his hands and again, looked confused.  
- Wasn't one enough? – he asked.  
- Oh just open it…  
He tore the paper and smiled.  
- I'm never late, you know…  
- I'm not saying you are…I just thought that watch would look nice on you. – she smiled cheekily.  
With a big smile, he put both things down on the table and dragged her by the hand to his bedroom.  
- I got you something too. – he said, letting go of her hand to kneel on the floor and take something from under his bed.  
She gave him a weird look.  
- Hey, I had to hide it somewhere…or else you would have found it.  
He finally got on his feet and handed her a gift bag, which was stapled at the top.  
An extremely cute teddy bear came out of it; toffee brown, a few shades darker than her hair, with a red velvet ribbon around its neck.  
He heard - probably - the longest and loudest 'aww' she had ever voiced in front of him, before she wrapped her arms around his neck.  
- It's so cute! I love it! It's adorable!  
He laughed at her reaction.  
- I thought you'd like it…I just didn't know it'd be this much!  
- Are you kidding me? I love plush toys! I have this huge collection back at hom- and that's probably too much information…please don't think I'm crazy. – she said, looking him in the face.  
Again, he laughed, before kissing her.  
It was a loving kiss. He felt happier than ever, with her. Because of her. Her whole existence, her words, her voice, her, her, her.  
She could feel it in that kiss, because she felt exactly the same. She loved that apparently rude boy. His smile, his eyes, his touch and the way he spoke of things.  
- I love you…- she said, almost in a whisper.  
He felt such a peace inside his heart whenever he heard those words.  
- I love you too Sakura. – his eyes showed what he said.  
He leaned his forehead to hers, feeling her fingers touch his nape.  
Her body leaned against his at the same time she took his lips, lazily throwing the teddy bear to the end of his bed. Her hands were then free to wander through his sides, his stomach, his chest.  
He could feel it, that burning sensation around his heart. The blood flowing faster, his breath getting shorter as the kissing got more passionate. Her tongue had overtaken his.  
He felt weak and with that, she pushed him on the bed.

Lying with his head on the pillow, he just stared at her, wanting more of her.  
The weight of her body over his almost made him close his eyes in satisfaction.  
The kissing resumed as intense as before, with him tightly gripping her waist.  
Saying goodbye to his lips with a light brush, she placed wet kisses on his jawline, reaching his ear and making him sigh.  
His fingers pushed her shirt a bit up, so he could feel her skin.  
The feeling of her warm and moist lips on his throat, made him breathe in sharply.  
He wasn't like this; at all. He didn't know a girl - a woman - could have that effect on him.  
He didn't know he could feel so vulnerable; so loved; so weak. He didn't know he could be so deep into something, because he had never felt anything like this.  
The pressure of his jeans being unbuttoned brought him back.  
Before she came into his life, he used to be the one to undress himself. Kissing wasn't that common and the women lying under him, dragged him into the situation. His main purpose was to get some relief, and there was no passion whatsoever.  
So everything he had been experiencing with Sakura – every kiss, every smile, stare, hug, touch, sound…- it was all new and a bit overwhelming sometimes.  
There were times he felt like he was drugged; completely unable to control things.  
With eyes slightly shut, he observed how she unbuttoned his shirt, kissing his chest tenderly.  
She was…something he couldn't put into words. There were no words to describe what she was and what she meant to him. That naïve girl, who could barely cook and was always cheerful and stubborn…He loved the hell out of her.  
He pulled her in for a kiss, his tongue connecting with hers, while his hands held her head in place. She responded lovingly, but managed to escape his hands as the grip got loose.  
Syaoran seemed to be a little disappointed. She gave him a sweet smile while she pushed his jeans and underwear a bit lower.  
He felt her warm and gentle hand wrap around his hardness, and he blinked, swallowing to moisten his throat. The up and down movements started; slow and teasing, and then her tongue joined in.  
His eyes shot wide open.  
- Oy! – he exclaimed, trying to sit. His cheeks were strangely hot.  
Hers weren't much different, but his protest didn't stop her.  
He gasped when her lips pressed against the tip of his length.  
- S-Sakura…seriously…! – he tried again, his eyebrows furrowed in a mix of pleasure and conflict, while his head hit the pillow.  
The warmth of her mouth, and the touch of her tongue around his manhood were a new sensation; a good one, yet slightly embarrassing.  
Encouraged by his irregular breathing, she opened her eyes to look at him. He was blushing, something rare to be seen and at that, she smiled on the inside.  
A soft groan escaped his mouth when she repeatedly pressed a spot on his length.  
Gathering his strength, he propped himself on his hands and stared at her, his eyebrows still furrowed.  
- You don't hav- he began, in vain. His breathing stopped for a second and he closed his eyes tightly, another grunt reaching their ears.  
His hand rested on her head and then slid down her face, trying to stop her by pulling her up.  
She finally gave in to his wish, and her eyes met his.  
Observing her red cheeks and wet lips, he didn't hesitate to kiss her. It was a rough kiss, that rapidly became softer but passionate.  
His hands urged to take all her clothes off, his as well.  
If someone said they melted together whenever they touched each other like that, he would believe it. It felt just like it.  
The way her body responded to his caresses, and the way he fit so well in her. The way she spoke his name in his ear or against his lips. The way his mind went completely white.  
- Sakura…- he said faintly, before kissing her cheek.

* * *

*blushing* Hello.  
Another one haha.

Thank you for reading and reviewing :)


	8. January

It was the beginning of January and classes had begun.  
The strange couple still got a lot of looks, but they couldn't care less.  
He never cared about anyone's opinion anyway, and she was completely in love with him; she was completely his.  
Sakura and Tomoyo walked the halls together, heading for the exterior.  
- So…tell me! How are things?  
- Ah…Good? Great? I don't know what you want me to tell you!  
- Sakura…come on, you can't fool me. You look really happy…  
- That's because I am…- she said, smiling shyly.  
- He's nothing like what he seemed in the beginning, is he? – Tomoyo asked, already knowing the answer.  
- No, he's not…He's sweet and caring and…- her eyes lost focus thinking about him, the smiling still danced on her lips.  
- I've never seen you talk about a guy like this…It's great! I'm so happy for you!  
Sakura smiled happily at her, but that smile slowly disappeared when she felt the strange sensation of falling.  
Tomoyo's voice was suddenly too far to be heard and everything vanished.

Syaoran barged in the hospital, with Tomoyo at his side.  
- Kinomoto Sakura! Where is she?!  
- Please calm down, sir.  
- Don't tell me to calm down! Just tell me where she is! Kinomoto Sakura, the college student that fell down the stairs an hour ago!  
His heart was slamming inside his chest and breathing was hard. He could feel a vein on his eye pulsing as he watched the receptionist type in something.  
- She's still under observation-  
- I don't care! Let me see her!  
- Are you family, sir?  
He swallowed at that question.  
- N-no, I'm not. But I'm close enough! And her family is too far from here, so please, let me see her!  
- I'll need to speak to the doctor.

- I'm assuming you're the ones asking to see Ms. Kinomoto. – said the doctor.  
They nodded.  
- How is she? Is she okay? – Syaoran asked anxiously.  
- She didn't break anything, thankfully. – he started. – But she did hit her head hard, so she needs to be under observation for a while.  
- C-can we see her? Is she awake? – he asked again.  
- She isn't. And for the moment, no visitors are allowed. Tomorrow, we'll have some more information on her, so maybe tomorrow you can see her.  
- Tomorrow…? – asked Tomoyo, almost in a whisper.  
She had seen everything and it was hard to believe. One minute Sakura was smiling and the other...she was on her way to the hospital.  
- Yes, Ms. See you tomorrow.  
She looked at Syaoran, who seemed to be completely lost inside his mind.

- I see you're back. – the doctor greeted. – We've finished running all the tests on her, for now.  
- For now? What do you mean? – Syaoran asked.  
- It means that only time will tell if there aren't any sequels.  
- Can we see her?  
The doctor tensed his lips and opened the door.  
- You can't take too long, though. She needs all the rest she can get.  
Syaoran entered hastily and observed her, lying on that hospital bed, covered in pastel green covers.  
Her head was bandaged, but not completely and apart from that, there weren't any traces of the fall.  
His heart jumped a little when he saw her open her eyes.  
- Hey…- he said with most gentle voice he had, his eyes overflowing with love for her.  
She blinked, still sleepy and looked at him.  
- Who…? Who…are you?  
Not only his eyes widened, but his entire body went cold.  
- S-Sakura…- Tomoyo called, approaching them.  
She turned to the dark haired girl and a barely noticeable smile appeared on her lips.  
- Tomoyo…!  
Syaoran, awakening from his shock, looked at both of them in disbelief.  
- Sakura…please, look at me…  
She turned to him, her face completely blank.  
- You…you really don't know who I am? – he asked, a strong hint of hurt in his voice.  
Her eyebrows furrowed a little in embarrassment.  
- I-I'm sorry…I don't…Should I…?  
Tomoyo observed as the pain and despair took over his face.  
"- This is terrible!"  
- S-Sakura…hm…can I ask you something? What's the last thing you remember? – she asked.  
Sakura got pensive, her eyes looking at her covers.  
- Hm…the picnic. That cherry pie was really delicious…- she finished with a small smile.  
Syaoran looked at Tomoyo not knowing what she was talking about.  
- A picnic…? – she repeated after her. – But that was…back in April! – she concluded a bit horrified.  
"- April? We hadn't even met…" – he thought.  
Seeing their faces, she finally understood something wasn't right.  
- Tomoyo…what's the date?  
- January 12th…- she answered in a low voice.  
Her green eyes shot wide open and she felt her blood run down.  
- …January?  
- Yes…  
- What happened?! Why am I here?  
- You fell down the stairs, at college…  
Syaoran kept quiet; he couldn't speak. His floor had just disappeared.  
- I fell?  
- Yes…we were talking and all of the sudden, you fell and hit your head…- she recalled. – It was all so quick…  
Sakura's attention turned to the quiet man next to her.  
- And…who are you?  
He looked at her painfully and headed to the door without saying a word.  
- Li…- Tomoyo called, but he left anyway.

He stood right outside the room, facing the floor, completely immersed in what he was feeling.  
- How did it go? – asked the doctor, approaching him.  
Syaoran lifted his head to look at him.  
- She doesn't…remember.  
- Memory loss was to be expected.  
- Is it temporary…?  
- We don't know that. Might be.  
- As it can be long term, right?  
- Yes.  
- Is there anything that you could do? Any treatment, anything at all? I'll pay for it.  
- Unfortunately, when it comes to the brain and especially memory, there isn't much we can do…It depends on her now…

A week had passed since that day.  
Sakura had been released from the hospital and was back at college.  
When she insisted to know who that man was, Tomoyo's answer was:  
- You'll get it later.  
The rest of her friends were pretty sympathetic, as were her classmates and teachers.  
And then she laid eyes on him, across the hall.  
She made an excuse and left, walking towards him.  
- H-hi…  
His eyes widened at that voice. He hadn't heard it in a week; he didn't have the strength to go back to the hospital. He lifted his head to look at her.  
- Hi. – she repeated, as if she was nervous.  
- Hey. – he answered automatically.  
- I…hm…-she tried to begin. – Tomoyo wouldn't tell me who you are…but hm…I think I know…?  
He observed the way her fingers played with each other and how her eyes wouldn't meet his.  
- …I hm... have this framed photo in my room…of us…so…I assumed we were pretty close, right?  
He swallowed.  
- Yes.  
- Were we…a couple? – she asked, looking in his eyes. – Boyfriend and… girlfriend?  
He was the one to look away this time, tensing his jaws.  
- Yes…  
She bit her lip, furrowing her eyebrows not knowing what to say.  
- Don't worry about it…okay? – he said, forcing a smile. – I'm glad you're fine.  
He walked away, leaving her there still not knowing what to say or do.

Closing the door behind him, he leaned on it, his head almost hitting it too hard.  
His teeth clenched as his body slid down the door, finally reaching the floor.  
The pain he felt was like nothing he had ever felt before.  
He thought it would kill him. Now, she knew who he was, but she didn't remember anything.  
The stares, the hugging, the kissing, their conversations…none of it. All gone.  
Thinking of that, he closed his eyes firmly, taking his hands to his forehead, supporting his elbows on his knees. His shoulders started to shake, as his face was washed by his tears.

Sitting in the grass, along with her friends, Sakura played with the food in her lunch box.  
Tomoyo and Eriol noticed and glanced at each other.  
- Sakura…- Tomoyo called gently.  
Like if someone had touched her, she shot her head up and looked at her quite alert.  
- Are you okay? – she asked, noticeable concerned.  
- Ah…yes, yes. I'm okay. It's just…you know…I can't remember the past eight months! – Sakura gave a laugh, making fun of it, but it was filled with sadness.  
- Don't try too hard Sakura…I'm sure it will come to you, naturally…- Tomoyo said, overlapping her friend's hand with hers.  
- Yea…thank you, Tomoyo. – she said, forcing a smile.  
Tomoyo smiled back, still worried, but her attention was caught by someone across the field.  
Noticing it, Sakura turned her head back to see what Tomoyo was looking at and her lips parted slightly.  
Syaoran had just sat under a tree, lighting a cigarette and resting.  
With a flash, the photo on her bedroom came to her mind. They looked so close.  
She put down her lunch box and got up.  
- I'll be right back. – she said, heading towards him.

Hearing footsteps approaching him, he opened his eyes and turned his head to see who it was.  
His heart jumped inside his chest and he immediately sat, staring at her.  
- H-hey… - she greeted a bit embarrassed.  
- Hey. – he greeted back, putting out his cigarette against a small rock.  
- I…uh…- she began, sitting on her knees. – I just wanted to check on you…  
- Check on me? – he asked a bit surprised.  
- Yea…  
- Well, it wasn't me who fell down the stairs. I should be the one checking on you…  
- Oh I'm okay! Don't worry! – she said smiling and waving her hands in front of her in denial.  
He gave her a weak smile.  
- Do you…want to get some coffee…? I mean, at the end of the day? – she asked, a bit fearful.  
He ran his fingers through his hair and then his hand fell to his lap.  
- I can't, I have things to do. – he replied, getting up. – And you don't drink coffee. – he finished with a light smile.  
She watched him walk away, a bit surprised with what he had said.  
But of course, it made sense. He was her boyfriend. He obviously knew she didn't drink coffee.

* * *

Go on, say it. You hate me for doing this to them XD  
It's just that the idea came to me and I really couldn't ignore it.

Once again, thank you for keeping up with this, it means a lot to me.  
I really appreaciate the support :)

Til next chapter. (4 more to go.)


	9. February

He had just closed the door of his car when a knock on the window startled him.  
It was Tomoyo.  
- Hi. – he greeted, rolling the window down.  
- Hey Li…can we talk?  
- Hm…I'm a bit busy, so…  
- It won't take long…it's about Sakura.  
- I know. – he replied. – Fine, come in.  
She went around the car and got in.  
- So, what's wrong?  
- You.  
- Uh?  
- You're avoiding her, Li. – she stated. – She has been trying to be with you and you're always 'busy'.  
He kept silent.  
- Why, Li?  
- I have my reasons, Daidouji.  
- You do realize that you might be throwing away a chance for her to remember you, right?  
- I doubt she will ever remember anything. It's gone.  
- Even if you're right; even if it's really gone, it wouldn't kill you to spend some time with her and maybe-  
- Yes it would! – he cut her off, a bit desperate.  
- Li…  
- I cannot stand being near her. It hurts so much Daidouji…- he confessed, in a pained voice.  
She was really sorry for him.  
- She doesn't remember me. I can't hug or kiss her or watch her fall asleep…It hurts…it hurts…- he repeated, his voice breaking.  
- I'm sorry Li. I really am…  
He didn't say a word, just kept staring at the wheel, trying his hardest not to cry.  
- She was really happy with you. She spoke of you in a way that she had never spoken of her previous boyfriends. You are special.  
He swallowed.  
- She fell for you before. She can fall for you again.  
He released a sad chuckle.  
- How? I don't even know how the hell she fell for me the first time!  
- Li, don't do this to yourself… - Tomoyo said. – You're a good guy, you love her and she loved you. Don't give up…please…  
He bit his lip to keep the tears from falling.

-/-

The day was dark and cold, quite the typical day in February.  
Sakura stood at the entrance of her university, waving goodbye to her friends.  
Turning to walk to the opposite side, she almost bumped on someone.  
- Hey…  
- Oh! – she exclaimed, recognizing the brown eyes. – Hi…  
He took a drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke far from her.  
- You're going home…right? – he asked. – I could give you a ride, if you want.  
She had a light blush on her cheeks and didn't quite know where to look.  
- Hm…I don't want to bother you-  
- It's not a bother, otherwise I wouldn't have offered. – he said, taking another drag.  
The city lamps beginning to light up caught her attention.  
- Okay then…I'll accept your offer. – she said, showing him a shy smile.  
Syaoran chuckled, heading to his car.  
- Look at us being so polite…- he said, unlocking the door.  
She didn't say anything, just followed him.

Halfway through, she broke the complete silence.  
- Your name is Syaoran, right? – she asked. – I heard Tomoyo call you Li at the hospital, but I have you as Syaoran in my phone…  
- Yes, that's my name. – he said, feeling a bit hurt but not showing it.  
- I can call you like that…right? I mean…we were-  
- Yes.  
After a few more minutes of silence, she spoke again.  
- Can I ask you something? – she began. – I want to go to your house…  
His eyes suddenly widened at her request and he braked, almost causing an accident.  
Realizing what he had done, he resumed the driving.  
- Why?  
- Well…I'm curious…about you…us…- she answered, blushing a little.  
He sighed heavily. This was so hard. Tomoyo had no idea.

-/-

Syaoran dropped the keys on the hallway table and closed the door behind him, as he watched her look around.  
She looked back, right into his eyes.  
- I'm sorry…I…I don't know what I was thinking…this is probably troublesome for you…  
- It's fine. Look all you want. – he said, going to the kitchen. – Are you hungry?  
She followed him.  
- Ah…yes, I am…  
- Pancakes? – he asked, looking at her.  
- Sure. – she answered with a soft smile.  
That smile that made it all so hard for him.  
He looked away, washing his hands.  
She walked past him, her eyes set on his bedside table.  
- You have one too…- she said, taking it in her hands.  
- Yea. Your Christmas present to me. – he said, focused on making the batter.  
She observed every detail of the picture and a sweet smile formed on her lips.  
- It's different from the one I have on my room, but I have this one in my computer. I actually have lots of them. Tomoyo is a great photographer. – she said, putting the picture down.  
She sat on his bed, watching him prepare the batter and absorbing every detail of that room.  
Then it hit her; the bed. Her cheeks were colored a strong pink and she looked at him.  
- Hey…hm…- she tried. – Did we…did we…hm…  
He stopped and looked at her.  
- What?  
- Did we…you know…sleep together? – she asked, not looking at him.  
His lips parted in slight surprise and he sighed, combing his hair with his fingers.  
- I don't know how to answer that…  
- …Did we? – she insisted.  
- Yes.  
- How many times?  
- Do you think I counted them?! I don't know! – he answered, turning his attention to the batter.  
There was a big silence, where the only sound came from him pouring the batter and flipping the pancakes.  
- I'm sorry. – she said.  
- There's nothing to apologize for.  
- Yes there is…This must be really difficult for you and I'm only making it worse…  
- You're not. – he said, turning off the stove. – Pancakes are done.

They sat and ate quietly, much like the first time he made pancakes for her.  
- These are really good. – she said, giving him a faint smile.  
He didn't say anything, just kept eating.  
- How did we meet…? – she asked, a bit fearful.  
- Your clumsiness. – he said. – Your notes flew in the wind, they ended up where I was resting.  
Her lips formed into a soft smile.  
- Did we become friends from there?  
- Oh no. – he chuckled. – No. I gave you a hard time there…I was…still am pretty anti-social. But you are stubborn… - he finished with a half-smile.  
She blushed at the first smile he had given her.  
- How long had we been dating…?  
- Since November.  
- I see…  
After a few minutes of silence, she asked if she could use the bathroom.

Closing the door, she looked around, noticing how clean and organized it was.  
And there were two toothbrushes; one of them was white and pink, probably hers.

Supporting his elbows on the table, he bent his head forward, running his hands through his hair.  
He wanted her to remember him so badly. They had been through so much; She had helped him so much.  
The sound of the door opening made him lift his head to look at her.  
He couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she was.  
Noticing his soft smile, she blushed.  
- Hm…there're two toothbrushes…  
- One is yours, so if you want to wash your teeth, go ahead.  
- Ah, no, no. I'm fine. I can do it at home…which reminds me, I should go…  
She grabbed her bag and headed to the door, followed by him.  
The sound and sight of pouring rain froze them there.  
- Ah…- she let out, having no idea what to do.  
- It's not safe to drive right now…- he said. – You can stay over tonight, if you're comfortable with it. If not, we'll have to wait until the rain slows down a bit…  
She turned to look at him.  
- I still have some of your shirts and you don't need to worry, I'll sleep on the couch. – he said, smiling weakly.  
- You don't mind…?  
He sighed, intensifying his smile.

Sakura sat on his bed half tucked in, wearing a shirt that she had been wondering where it had gone to.  
He stood near the kitchen area, hand on the light switch.  
- Do you have all you need?  
- Yea…  
- Okay then. Goodnight, sleep well. – he said switching it off. – And if you need anything, you can wake me up, okay?  
- Okay. – she said, looking at him being illuminated by the moon light.  
He turned to leave for the living room.  
- I'm sorry…- she whispered, but he heard it.  
It hurt; it hurt like a flaming sword through his chest. She didn't remember him. If it weren't for her friends and photos…their relationship would have been completely erased. There would have been no proof.  
But having her there, trusting him, was somewhat of a bliss.

"_They rolled, putting him on top of her supporting himself on his arms while her other hand caressed his back.  
Her legs spread under him, allowing them to be more comfortable.  
Her heart was racing and the temperature was starting to rise.  
With a hand on her hips, he broke the kiss.  
- Uh…I…I don't know if we should…- he began, looking somewhat inebriated and conflicted. – Hm…I mean…  
She brushed his lips with hers, finishing with a light kiss.  
He sighed heavily.  
- I really mean it…maybe we should wait…_

- I've been hurt before…I'm pretty sure you won't do it.  
- How-  
Her lips took his again.  
As the kiss evolved, he couldn't hold back a soft grunt.  
The hand resting on her hips began its way up, under her sweater, while her hands reached for the hem of his to pull it off.  
His sweater was thrown to the end of the bed and she passed her hands on his chest, feeling every inch of his skin.  
Abruptly, he left her lips and hid his face in the curve of her neck, his hot tongue meeting her skin along with his lips. He pushed her sweater a little up and began placing kisses on her belly, giving her goose bumps.  
His lips reached the top of her ribs and he uncovered her breasts.  
He slowly licked the small button at the center of her breast, while his hand fondled the other one. She was writhing against his body after a few licks.  
Pulling back his hips a little, his hand left her breast and slid down her body, meeting her entrance over her underwear.

He leaned in, wearing that smile and slightly rubbing her nose with his.  
- I'm in love with you."

She sat up, agitated and panting. Her cheeks were so hot it looked like a fever.  
Her hand touched her face, putting some hair behind her ear. Her fingers then proceeded to slid down to her lips.  
- Hey…Something wrong?  
Her eyes shot to where he stood, watching him walk to her.  
- Did you have a nightmare? – he asked worriedly, sitting on the bed.  
She couldn't speak.  
His hand reached for her cheek.  
- Hm? – he insisted, lovingly.  
- No…- she finally said. – I…uh…  
- I woke up with your voice, you were…making sounds. – he said, knowing what those sounds looked like, but ignoring it.  
She swallowed at his words.  
- Are you sure it wasn't a nightmare?  
- Yes…- she said. – It was you…  
His eyes widened a bit at that and his hand slowly fell from her face. She had dreamt of him?  
- …and I…- she continued, looking at her hands grabbing the covers. – We were…  
He looked at her anxiously.  
- We were…- she tried, but the words wouldn't come out.  
- We were… what?  
- … here. On this bed…  
His eyes widened slightly, again.  
- You… you weren't sure, you wanted to wait….but I…I insisted on it…and you suddenly said you were in love with me…- she said, lifting her face to look at him.  
Putting that description together, his eyes shot wider than before.  
- That…was not a dream, Sakura…- he said, swallowing. – It was a memory…  
This time, it were her eyes that widened.  
- A memory…?  
- From what you described…yes…  
She blushed even more furiously, the dream still fresh in her mind.  
His touch, the kissing, the licking.  
He forced a smile, noticing her embarrassment.  
But all of the sudden, he saw her eyes tear up and her forehead lean on his shoulder.  
- Hey…w-what-why…why are you crying? – he asked, a bit in panic.  
- It's all my fault…  
- What…? No!  
- Yes it is! If I weren't so damn clumsy, I wouldn't have fallen and I wouldn't have forgotten about you…- she said, her voice starting to break.  
One of his hands went to the back of her neck and the other to her cheek.  
- No…please, don't cry. It was not your fault…please don't…  
- You're hurting because of me…  
He leaned his head on hers, caressing her neck.  
- Please don't cry…- he pleaded. – If you weren't clumsy, we wouldn't have met…  
She opened her eyes a bit, staring down. It hurt her too, not remembering a thing.  
It hurt her to know that she had forgotten about something so special.  
His touch was so caring, his warmth was so comforting.  
She noticed his scent; cigarettes, something like perfume and his own scent, something that made it unique. It felt familiar.  
Lifting her head, their eyes met; hers filled with sadness and his were deep with care.  
- Hey…- he whispered softly.  
Slowly, her face got closer to his. He could sense what was coming, and even though he knew it would hurt him later, he still ached for it.  
She closed her eyes when her lips touched his in a tender kiss.  
When their lips parted, she remained an inch from him and another tear rolled down her cheek. Nothing.  
She had the stupid hope that like in fairy tales, their kiss would return her memories, but no.  
Even so, his lips felt as familiar as his scent. Felt a bit like 'home'.  
- You should try and go back to sleep…- he said softly, breaking the silence.  
Unable to speak, she gave him a light nod and lied down again, looking at him.  
He made sure she was well covered and showed her a faint smile.

-/-

The following days not only were rainy, but also uncomfortable.  
Sakura hadn't told anyone, not even Tomoyo, about anything that had happened at Syaoran's house. It was a bit too much for her.  
She had seen him a couple of times at college, but didn't have the courage to go to him.  
That dream, or memory, had been on her head for days now. She didn't blush anymore.  
She felt a deep sadness. How was it possible to forget something like that? Something so warm and loving and honest. That was just the tip of the iceberg; there was so much more she couldn't remember.  
- Hey…  
She turned to see the owner of that voice, standing right behind her.  
- H-hi… - she greeted, a bit embarrassed.  
Syaoran smiled sympathetically at that.  
- I've been wondering how you have been…it's been a few days since we last talked.  
- I…-she began, preparing herself to say she was fine, but then gave up. - You want the honest answer…? – she asked, lowering her head.  
- You know I do…  
- It's been hard…this is suffocating…- she confessed, with a saddened voice.  
- Me?  
- Hm? – she muttured, lifting her head. – No! Not you…just this situation…  
- I think…that it might get better when you stop blaming yourself. – he said.  
She looked at him with wide eyes. He only smiled at her.  
- Do you have any plans for today?  
- Plans for today? Hm…besides attending classes, not really, no…  
- Then, what do you think of watching a movie at my place?  
- Hm…sure. I don't see why not. – she answered, a light smile forming on her lips.

-/-

They sat on his couch comfortably, close to each other and covered by a blanket.  
Syaoran had stopped by a theatre just to buy her popcorns. He knew how much she loved those.  
It was a light fantasy movie, with a hint of romance.  
He'd glance at her through the corner of his eyes every once in a while. She seemed to be enjoying it.  
When it came to an end, he stretched.  
- It was nice. – she said, smiling at him.  
- Yea.  
- Thank you.  
- Hm?  
- For this…for the popcorns…everything.  
- It was nothing…  
- Also…can I ask you something?  
- You know you can…  
- Hm…I have this cute teddy bear in my bedroom…and I didn't have it before…so…  
- Red velvet ribbon? – he asked, already knowing the answer.  
- Yea…it was you, wasn't it?  
- Christmas present. – he said, smiling. – You made the cutest 'aw' I had ever heard, and then you told me about your collection back at home.  
- Eh? I told you about that? – she asked quite embarrassed.  
- You did. – he smiled, almost laughing.  
Blushing, she hid her face in her palms.  
- You gave me this watch. – he said, showing his wrist.  
Slowly, her hands fell from her face and she observed his watch.  
- I did? – she asked. – I thought I had given you that frame…  
- You did, you gave me two gifts. – he smiled.  
She blushed.  
- Can I ask you one last thing?  
He chuckled and nodded.  
- Can I hug you?  
At first that surprised him, but soon that gave place to a warm smile. He shifted on the couch, turning to her and opening his arms. That same second she threw herself at him, her arms wrapping around his neck tightly. His eyes widened and then relaxed, almost closing.  
It felt so good to hold her again.  
- I like the way you smell…- she said blushing, her voice low.  
He smiled at that.  
- And…I might not remember you…but there's something about you that…draws me in. - she added.  
He smiled tenderly at her words.  
She slowly pulled back and looked at him.  
He couldn't resist the urge to caress her face, putting some hair behind her ear and getting close to kiss her cheek.  
The blush intensified at his touch; so caring and warm.  
- Do you want me to take you home now? I mean…it's getting late…  
She swallowed, looking into his deep brown eyes.  
- Hm… yea, it might be a good idea.

-/-

Syaoran was especially grumpy that day. The moment he stepped in the building, he regretted leaving his bed that morning.  
It was Valentine's Day; definitely the most annoying day of the year.  
Couples being all lovey-dovey and girls giggling and gossiping more than usual.  
Through the window of the second floor, he saw Sakura with her group, sitting on the grass field as was their habit. She looked a bit sad and aloof.  
Even though he didn't like that particular day, he had bought something for her.  
He didn't knew how or when to give it to her, or if she would like it, but he really wanted to give her something.  
A hand on his shoulder startled him.  
- Hey.  
It was one of his classmates; one of those who had lent his notes to him while he was recovering at home.  
- Hey. – Syaoran greeted back plainly.  
- Have you been in touch with each other…? – he asked with a hint of care, noticing him look through the window.  
Syaoran looked back to her.  
- Yes…  
- Her memory still hasn't returned?  
He shook his head.  
- I'm sorry for that.  
Syaoran showed him a faint smile.

-/-

He sat under a tree, with an open book over his crossed legs. There was another open book sitting in the grass right beside him and he flipped the pages while holding a pen between his teeth.  
It really wasn't a sunny day, but it wasn't raining or too cold, either.  
The sound of someone sitting beside him startled him, making him drop his pen.  
Sakura was sitting on her knees with a gentle smile on her face.  
- Studying hard, I see.  
- Uh…yes.  
- I'm sorry for interrupting…but I wanted to give you this. – she said, giving him a small gift box.  
He stared at the small package and then looked back at her, not understanding.  
- It's Valentine's! – she said cheerfully, but he could see it was fake. Her eyes were sad.  
- I know, I just…wasn't expecting anything from you…- he explained. – But I'm happy.  
He smiled genuinely, causing her cheeks to warm up.  
- I got you something too. – he said, opening his bag and handing her a tiny navy blue pouch.  
Her eyes widened a bit.  
- Aren't you going to open it? – he asked with a faint smile on his lips.  
Putting the tip of her finger in the opening of the pouch, she opened it and poured the content on her hand making her eyes widen again.  
She held it in the air with her fingers; it was a silver necklace with a tiny golden star pendant.  
- Do you like it?  
Her eyes immediately looked at him.  
- T-This...This must've have been really expensive! I can't-  
- Do you like it? – he insisted.  
- A-Ah…yes… It's beautiful…but…  
He smiled at her lovingly.  
- I'm glad.  
Her cheeks got warmer.  
- Now I'm ashamed of what I got you…it's just chocolates…- she said smiling quite embarrassed.  
- Somehow, you must've remembered I love chocolate. – he said smiling.  
He couldn't care less that her gift was 'just chocolate'; she had thought of him.  
Again, he noticed her sadness.  
- Is there anything you want to talk about?  
She lifted her head in surprise.  
- You don't seem to be okay…  
- Ah…no…I'm-I'm good. – she said forcing a smile.  
- You're not. – he said. – You're forgetting I know you well…  
Her shoulders relaxed and she looked away.  
- It's nothing important, really-  
- If it weren't important, you wouldn't be like that. Please…- he insisted.  
Sakura looked at him for a few seconds and then lowered her head.  
- I…I heard some girls talk about me, about us. – she began. – They said that I was faking this…so I would have you on the palm of my hand. They said that you were way too good for me.  
Syaoran chuckled, but his eyes showed something else: anger.  
- I swear I'm not faking it…- she said, still looking at the grass.  
- You don't need to swear it Sakura. Actually, you shouldn't have to listen to such nonsense! – he said, his voice slightly aggressive.  
She looked at him.  
- I know you, okay? Please don't let those fools get to you. – he said, his voice going from anger to worry.  
He got up, packing his things and reached out his hand to her.  
- Come with me.  
She stared at him in surprise, but took his hand anyway.

-/-

They were at the same café where they had been other times before.  
Two cups of hot chocolate on the table, a slice of strawberry cream cake for her and a brownie for him.  
- I had already been here with Tomoyo…it's really cosy, isn't it? – she asked.  
- It is. – he said, taking a sip of his drink. – We used to come here, too.  
- Oh…  
- Hey, it's fine. – he smiled. – Also…I don't want you to think that I gave you that gift because I'm trying to have you back…  
- Ah…no, I didn't think that…  
- Good. – he said, smiling faintly at her.  
- Why…why did you bring me here?  
Syaoran took another sip and put down the cup.  
- Like you said, it's a cosy place. I thought it would be nice.  
She took a sip of her drink and cut a bit of her slice.  
- What other embarrassing things have I told you…? – she asked, eating the cake.  
Caught by surprise, he searched his own memories.  
- Uh…well, I guess it depends on what you consider embarrassing.  
- Then…what have I told you about me? – she asked, looking him in the eyes, blushing a little.  
His eyebrows rose slightly, then slowly fell into place.  
- Hm…You couldn't cook, but you were getting better though. – he began. – You're afraid of thunderstorms and ghosts…  
- Eh…? I've told you that…? – she asked, her cheeks getting warmer. – See? That's what I meant by 'embarrassing'…  
He gave her a sympathetic smile.  
- I also know you have an older brother and that you like the colour pink.  
She smiled at that, looking at her cup of hot chocolate.  
Slowly and without taking her eyes off her drink, her hand crossed the table and touched his.  
He looked at their hands, entwining lovingly, and then at her.  
Sakura wouldn't look at him, the hands were her focus now.  
- Your hands are…wider and bigger than mine, but, they fit so well with mine…  
Her voice was low and it almost sounded like she was thinking out loud.  
He had to swallow; his throat was going dry. His heart was beating hard inside his chest and it hurt; every beat.  
She suddenly looked at him, noticing his discomfort.  
- I'm-I'm sorry…- she said, untangling her hand from his. – I shouldn't…  
- It's fine. – he said, quickly holding her hand and locking his eyes on hers.  
It seemed that her heart had hit the walls of her ribcage the moment he did that.  
The depth of the colour of his eyes enveloped her and not only her cheeks, but her whole body felt hot, like in a summer day.  
She suddenly stood up, clutching her hand to her chest.  
- I-I need to go the bathroom.  
Syaoran watched as she almost ran away from the table.

Barging in the bathroom, she locked it and braced herself on the sink, looking at her reflexion in the mirror. Her cheeks were red.  
Why had she touched him like that? Why had she said that? And his touch on her hand…  
She closed her eyes, breathing in and out.  
Her memory had gone to space, so there wasn't a single memory of his existence, and yet…whenever he was around, it felt like they were two magnets.  
Maybe their connection was so strong that it hadn't been fully erased.

* * *

And there you go, another one! :)  
Again, thank you for keeping up with this; thank you for all the support :)

3 to go!


	10. March

"_He abruptly left her lips and took off his shirt, throwing it to the floor. Her neck was his new target, but not for long. His hands, which had been squeezing her thighs, were now sliding up her sides. The sound of her breath on his ear slowly feeding his desire.  
He grabbed her right breast and began caressing it with need, while his mouth took care of the other one.  
She let her head fall to the left breathing heavily, her fingers wandering through his hair.  
When his lips and hands abandoned her breasts, a sigh of disappointment reached his ears, but he only smirked at that.  
His hands were now back on her thighs, touching them, feeling them, while he placed slow kisses on her belly.  
She could feel his finger sliding on the inside of her thighs, then playing with her wetness. A low moan escaped from her throat.  
And then her eyes shot wide open as her hips bucked up a little, in reaction to his soft tongue licking her opening.  
She wanted to speak; to stop him; but words wouldn't come out.  
Her breathing became short and more moans followed, as she clutched the sheets with her hands.  
- Syao…!"_

Gasping, Sakura sat on her bed with a racing heart and blushing cheeks.  
"- Was that…another memory?"  
That was all she could think. She kept replaying it inside her head.  
Tired, and being the middle of the night, she laid again.  
She couldn't help but to slide a hand down her body, reaching the inside of her underwear.

Everything seemed too loud; the cars, the students, even her own steps.  
"- I should've stayed home today…" – thought Sakura, reaching the second floor and turning the corner to enter a hall full of talking students.  
She walked near the wall, trying to avoid human contact, but then she spotted the last person she wanted to see that day: Syaoran.  
It didn't seem he had seen her, so she risked and went on her way.  
Right when she thought she was out of danger, she bumped into someone, which made Syaoran look behind to see what had happened.  
- I'm so sorry…  
- It's fine, just look where you're going. – the student replied, going on his way.  
She sighed; it definitely wasn't her day.  
- 'Morning.  
That voice sent a shiver through her spine, stiffening her body.  
He stopped in front of her, staring at her noticing that something wasn't right about her.  
- Are you okay?  
- Y-yea! Fine! – she answered maybe too enthusiastically.  
Squinting his eyes, he gave her a look that said he wasn't buying it.  
- S-See you around, okay? – she said, trying to walk away but having her wrist carefully held by him.  
-There's still time before classes start. – he stated simply.

They were now in a quiet, dimly lit room, somewhere where students and professors stored all things, from paper to old projects.  
Syaoran stood in front of her, his arms crossed over his chest, while she was clearly avoiding looking at him.  
- So, are you going to talk?  
The colour on her cheeks became more evident, apart from that, she didn't move one inch.  
His arms fell to his sides in a giving up attitude and he took a step towards her.  
- Sakura…- he began softly. – Please talk to me…  
She bit her lip at his request and gave him a glance.  
- I…I had another dream…  
- Really? – he asked anxiously.  
- Yes…  
- Well, what was it about?  
She hid her face with her hands, her cheeks getting redder.  
- Oy…- he said furrowing his eyebrows, but quickly realizing what the problem probably was. – Hm… sex again?  
She nodded her head strongly and he smiled tenderly at her embarrassment.  
- It's okay, you know? I might be a stranger to you now…but, we used to be in love and that includes feeling your body burning, wanting, needing that person's body close to yours and there's nothing wrong with that…- he said, looking at the floor.  
Her fingers split, allowing her to see him and slowly, her hands fell from her face.  
- You're not a stranger… - she said shyly.  
A little surprised, he lifted his head to look at her.  
- At the very least, we're friends…right? – she asked, in the same tone, her cheeks still colored.  
- Right. – he agreed with a soft smile on his face.  
After a few seconds of locked stares, he blinked and tilted his head to the side.  
- But…you had dreamed of us being intimate before…so what made you be so ashamed?  
The blush on her face intensified again and she looked away.  
- Hm…it wasn't…regular…sex.  
His eyebrows went up a bit.  
- Was it…in the shower?  
- W-what? No!  
- Kitchen table?  
- No! – she cut him off, getting redder and redder.  
- Then what?  
She sucked her lower lip while clutching her skirt with her hands.  
- You…hm…you were kissing me down there…- she said, finally giving up.  
He blinked again and then chuckled, causing her to blush heavily again.  
- So that was your problem.  
- Of course that was my problem! – she said ashamed.  
There was a small silence, in which he swallowed, remembering those intimate moments.  
And then he noticed something right below her neck.  
- You're wearing it.  
She didn't seem to understand what he was referring to, but seeing where he was looking at, she took her hand to grab the tiny star with her fingertips.  
- Oh…yea…- she said. – I told you I liked it…  
He smiled at her and then lowered his head a bit.  
- Does it…bother you? – he began, looking at the floor. – Having these dreams?  
Her eyes opened wider at his question and her lips parted.  
- Hm…no, it doesn't…But it's embarrassing…  
A faint smile formed on his lips.  
- I guess we better head to our classes or we'll miss them.

It didn't rain the next few days. The sun was out and it seemed a lot like early spring.  
No matter how much he said he wasn't trying to win her back, in a way, he was.  
It was hard to be with her and not kiss her, but it was harder not having her around.  
Not seeing her smile or blush; not feeling her presence or her scent; not hearing her voice.  
So he did things that were a bit out of character for him, like inviting her to do things together; a bit date-like.  
She never said no, though and she always seemed to be enjoying it.

Syaoran had just left his classroom, sighing from fatigue and hoping to see her.  
When on the outside, he leaned his back against the building and lit a cigarette.  
- Hi…is there any chance that you'd give me one? - said a girl, approaching him.  
He gave her a look and exhaled the smoke.  
- Why would I?  
The girl seemed to be surprised by his answer.  
- Uh…well, it would be really nice of you-  
- I'm not nice.  
- Okay, but it wouldn't hurt either, right? – she asked, getting closer.  
- There's a shop across the street, so you can go buy some. – he said, taking a drag.  
- Fine. I don't want it anymore. How about you buy me a drink?  
He chuckled.  
A few meters away, close to the entrance of the building, Sakura watched them.  
Something was stirring up in her stomach.  
Trying to get rid of that girl, he stepped forward and headed to the entrance.  
As soon as he set eyes on Sakura, she ran inside.  
- Oy! Sakura! – he called, dropping his cigarette on the floor and going after her.  
The girl was left behind perplexed.  
He ran up the stairs after her, flight after flight.  
"- God damn, she's fast!"  
Reaching the last floor, she faced the locked door to the roof top and turned around, just to see a panting Syaoran, bracing himself with one hand on the handrail.  
Her eyes widened and she swallowed.  
"- Why did I just do that?! Why did I run?!"  
It didn't make any sense to her now, but in that moment she felt like doing it; running from him.  
- Sakura…- he began, still panting. – Please, please…don't run…  
Listening to his plea, her knees slowly gave in and she sat on them.  
He followed her example and sat on the stairs, back against the rail.  
- What the hell was that for? – he asked, his breathing stabilizing.  
When she didn't reply, he turned his head to look at her. She was looking down.  
- Hey…- he said, reaching his hand to her.  
She still didn't look at him. He then crawled up to her and lifted her head.  
- What was that about, hm? – he asked softly.  
She leaned in, her face meeting his collarbone and surprising him.  
- I…I don't know. – she began, her voice low. - I honestly don't know…  
His left hand went to the back of her head, caressing her.  
- So, you just felt like running from me?  
He didn't get an answer.  
- Did I do something wrong?  
He felt her shake her head slowly against his chest.  
- What happened then…?  
His scent and his warmth were so familiar, so comforting. She got closer, wrapping her arms around him, her hands pressing on his back.  
Again, he was surprised, but happy. He couldn't put into words how good it felt to have her body pressed against his.  
- I'm so confused…- she confessed, her voice was low. – I have feelings that…I can't explain and I don't understand…  
Without a thought, he placed a long kiss at the top of her head, making her feel warm.  
The hug got tighter and his lips parted from her hair.  
- I understand.  
She sucked in her lower lip for a second and inhaled his scent one more time.  
- Do you…? – she asked. – That's nice…at least one of us understands what is going on…  
He kept silent.  
- I...I guess I didn't like…seeing that girl…near you…- she confessed, her cheeks getting a light shade of pink.  
His eyes widened a bit.  
"- Jealousy? She's jealous?"  
His fingers ran on her head, lovingly, on repeat.  
- I don't know who she is, you know. She was just asking me for a cigarette.  
- I see…  
- And…even if I knew who she was, it wouldn't matter, would it?  
She didn't answer.  
- You don't remember about us, but…the way I feel about you is…strong, so I really can't feel attracted to anyone else. – he chuckled.  
The blush on her cheeks intensified and she pulled back a little, lifting her head to look at him.  
Those deep brown eyes were so loving and enveloping.  
She didn't notice when her face began approaching his, nor when her lips closed around his in a tender kiss.  
Only the vibration of her phone made her wake up from that moment.  
Her eyes widened and she jumped back, looking at a surprised and disappointed Syaoran.  
- I-I'm sorry…I…don't know how that happened…- she tried to explain, her mind trying to understand what was going on with her.  
He forced a light smile and stood up.  
- Don't worry about it. You better answer that call.  
The word on the phone read "Home".  
When she looked back at him, he was already stepping down the stairs.  
"- He's hurt…"

That morning, the sky was lined with grey clouds. There wasn't a single glimpse of the sun.  
Sakura sat on her bed, feet on the ground, her eyes feeling heavy, much like her heart.  
After coming from the bathroom, she looked at the calendar in her room.  
March 14th.  
With a heavy sigh, she sat again on her bed and lied down, hiding under the covers.

- H-Hey, Li! Wait up! – called Tomoyo, making a run to his car.  
He looked back and stopped.  
- Hi.  
- Have you seen Sakura today?  
- I can't say I have…  
- I haven't seen her all day. I tried to call her, but she doesn't answer. I'm starting to get worried…  
- Maybe she needed to rest and her phone is on mute. She did have that habit…

The first one, the second one and now the third, too.  
All showed her the same results. Two pink lines.  
She threw it in the garbage can and took her right hand to her mouth to supress a cry.

Syaoran was lying on his couch, reading a book – even though he had to re-read the same sentence five times, because his mind was somewhere else – when he heard a key in the door.  
He quickly stood up, heading to the hall and leaving the book behind.  
There he saw her closing the door.  
- Sakura…- he muttered perplexed.  
She turned around, pale with lilac circles under her eyes and a despondent posture.  
- Hi…There was a 'new' key in my keychain, so I thought that it probably belonged to your door…but I guess I should've knocked. – she said, her voice lacking the usual cheerfulness.  
He took a couple steps towards her.  
- I-it's fine. – he said. – Are you okay? You don't look like it…Tomoyo has been worried about you.  
He saw her lower her head.  
- I can imagine…I ignored all her calls…  
- Why? What's wrong? – he said, his voice showing that he, too, was worried.  
There was a small silence, in which she walked past him, putting down her bag on the couch and leaning on the back of it. He followed her.  
- You know…After the fall, it didn't came….- she began, her eyes set on the floor. – But I thought that it was probably my body still adjusting to the accident and all. In February, I still blamed the fall…but…for the third month in a row…  
He listened attentively, starting to connect the dots on his own.  
- All the tests were positive. All of them…  
He swallowed, not being able to find any words.  
- I'm pregnant…- she said, her voice breaking a little.  
Syaoran blinked several times, taking both of his hands to cover the lower part of his face, then running them up to his hair. He felt a certain dizziness and took a step back, trying to recover some balance.  
- S-Sakura…  
She lifted her head on his call, her eyes slightly teary.  
- Sakura…- he said again softly, going up to her. – It's my fault…it's all my fault. I was so damn careless! I didn't even think about it!  
There was anger and regret in his voice.  
- I…I'm not blaming you…at all…but I'm lost…- she confessed, her voice and her eyes so sincere, it hurt to see. – What do I do now…?  
He wrapped her with his arms, caressing her head.  
- We. You are not alone in this…  
She clutched his shirt with her hands and suppressed a sob.  
- I can't remember anything about us! I can't even remember how I got pregnant! I hate this! – she shouted against his chest.  
His teeth clenched and he swallowed.  
- Why did I have to be so damn clumsy and fall down the stairs?! It's ridiculous! Who does that?!  
She poured everything out while his hand felt the softness of her hair.  
It hurt him deeply, to hear her cry like that. It hurt to know she was in pain; and it hurt to be reminded that she didn't remember anything about them.  
After a while like that, she got tired of crying and her throat hurt.  
- You want to know why it has been so confusing to me…? – she asked, her voice noticeable tired and husky.  
He didn't say anything. His own face had been silently washed with tears.  
- It's because…what I felt for you…never disappeared. It stayed. – she stated.  
His eyes widened a little, allowing a few last drops to fall.  
- It drove me crazy! I didn't remember you, but…every time I saw you, I'd feel my heart racing and my stomach stirring up and my body would feel all warm…- she continued. – And I didn't understand…especially when I felt the urge to touch you or hug you…or kiss you…  
His teeth clenched and he pushed her back gently, looking at her.  
- I know I've caused you pain…but believe me…it's not easy being in love with someone you don't know…- she confessed, her voice breaking.  
He leaned his forehead to hers and a few more tears fell.  
- I knew you were in pain, Sakura…I always knew…but, what could I do…?  
Her hands cupped his face.  
- You did everything right…  
- …I did?  
- Yes…- she confirmed, whispering.  
He closed his eyes, assimilating everything.

The next morning, Sakura woke up in a bed that wasn't hers.  
As she sat and her eyes got used to the light, she recognized that specific scent that she liked so much.  
Walking to the living room, she noticed a note on the kitchen table.  
"There's fresh bread. Feel yourself at home.  
I'll be back at 4."  
Her fingers touched the paper. Even his handwriting was attractive.  
With a faint smile, she blushed at the thought.

As he put the key into the door, he realized he was scared.  
Scared that she was gone.  
Walking in, he didn't hear anything at first, making his fear grow.  
- Hi…  
That almost made him jump.  
- Why were so quiet? Jeez... – he asked, looking at her.  
- Sorry…- she apologized sincerely, showing him a book.  
He went around the couch and sat on it, as soon as she shrugged her legs.  
Their eyes met and she blushed lightly, also smiling a bit, which made him happy.  
- How are you feeling?  
- Fine. I guess I'm one of those lucky women who don't have the typical pregnancy symptoms…  
- Your belly is still the same as before, but what about sickness and tiredness?  
- I feel a little more sleepy than usual, other than that I'm fine…  
- Good. – he said, showing her a smile.  
She lowered her head.  
- How are we going to do this…Syaoran? – she asked, her voiced showing how worried she was. – How am I going to tell my family? My friends…? What am I going to do about college?  
Her knees went higher and she hid her face on them.  
Syaoran got closer and his hands rested on her arms, trying to comfort her.  
- Hey…we're going to be okay…- he tried to reassure her. – This is my last year. I'll find a good job, so I can support us…  
- What…? –she asked lifting her face to look at him. – I can't put everything on your back Syaoran!  
- It's fine…and it won't always be like that. As soon as things are stable, you can go back and finish college and get a job doing what you like… - he said, caringly.  
- What if things go wrong…? – she asked, her voice losing its strength.  
He sighed at her pessimism.  
- IF things go wrong, I'm sure my parents will help us. Even though I want to avoid that, but if it comes to that…  
- Your parents…? – she asked, not understanding.  
- Oh…right. – he said, realizing she couldn't remember them. – Long story short, money won't be an issue, okay? The baby will have a comfortable life, no matter what.  
Sakura slowly lowered her head, relaxing her legs between him and the couch, getting closer to hug him.  
- It's not just that…  
- I know…- he replied, caressing her head.  
- What about us…? – she asked timidly.  
In truth, in that area, he felt as lost and confused as her.  
If it depended on him, they would be together as couple and they would be a family.  
- We'll do as you wish. – he replied simply.  
Surprised by his answer, she pulled away to look at him.  
- What do you mean?  
- I mean, that whatever you decide, I'm okay with that.  
Despite the faint smile on his lips, she could see the pain in his eyes and it hurt her too.  
- You would be okay if I decided to…not be with you? – she asked not believing what he had just said.  
He sighed.  
- If that would make you comfortable and happy, yes.  
She took her right hand to touch his face.  
- It wouldn't. – she replied, slightly tilting her head to the side with a weak smile.  
There was a tiny spark in his eyes.  
- So…what then?  
- Well, the only other option is for us to be a couple…right? – she said softly. – Do you want to give it a try…?  
Before she could say anything else, his arms hugged her so tightly she thought he would crush her.  
The hug grew loose and when they faced each other, there were soft smiles on their faces.  
In a moment of weakness, Syaoran leaned his forehead to hers and his nose touched hers, while his eyes shut half away.  
She knew he meant to kiss her; that he wanted to. And could she blame him? He had been in love with her, even created a new life with her and had been forced to refrain himself from those kinds of privileges. It must've hurt him deeply.  
Cutting the remaining distance, her lips met his, sending a shiver through her spine. She wanted it too. The movement of his lips on hers; between hers, cleared her head.  
Everything was gone.  
None of them noticed when her back lost its strength and fell back, and how his body followed because their lips wouldn't unlock.  
It wasn't about desire; it wasn't about flesh. He was simply happy that he could feel her lips again without freaking her out.  
Feeling a bit out of breath, she broke the kiss.  
She was surprised to see the position they were in, since she wasn't aware.  
He smiled lovingly, caressing her blushing cheek, admiring her green eyes.  
- Thank you.  
Her eyes widened at his words.  
- W-what for?  
- For everything, I guess.  
- Uh? – she seemed confused.  
He sighed, still smiling and pulled away from her, sitting on the couch.

* * *

Feel free to breathe in and out; take time to process the information.

Also, if you have any questions about the whole fic, you can just shoot. I'll answer them all :)

Thank you for following this story, I appreaciate it a lot!


	11. April

They had agreed that it would be better if she moved in with him.  
Sakura had told Tomoyo and the rest of her close friends what was going on.  
She was still gathering her courage to tell her family and he hadn't told his family either.  
It was the first of April, her birthday, and she had decided not to do anything, although Tomoyo had insisted in small lunch, to which she agreed.  
Syaoran didn't go; he made up an excuse, saying he wasn't feeling too well.  
He noticed a hint of sadness in her eyes when she heard him say that, but she was quick to put on a forced smile and tell him she would be back soon.  
Things were different now. He didn't feel the same as he did a year ago, and she sure wasn't the same as well. The personality was there, of course, but as to be expected, there was a part of her that just wasn't there. That didn't change his feelings for her at all, but contributed to the feeling of a forced relationship built on crystal pillars.  
And he could perfectly tell she wasn't okay; it bothered her a lot.  
After the lunch, Sakura went straight home.  
The sound of the door closing made him panic, hurrying to clean the kitchen table.  
As soon as she stepped on the kitchen area, her lips parted in surprise and her eyes widened.  
There was a cake on the table, covered in cream and decorated with strawberries. It was far from perfect, but it still brought a warm smile to her face. The table itself was covered in drops of cream and there was spilled sugar and flour everywhere.  
Her eyes then wandered to Syaoran, whose face was marked with cream.  
- S-sorry…It's not really my thing, decorating cakes and all…but, Happy Birthday…- he said, anxious and a bit embarrassed.  
The sweet smile on her face grew and she walked to him, holding his face with her hands.  
- I thought you weren't feeling well…- she said in a low voice.  
- Uh…well, yea, about that…it wasn't true…- he replied, running his fingers through his hair.  
She almost giggled at the way he was acting.  
- I can see that…  
His eyes widened at the touch of her tongue on his cheek.  
- You had a bit of cream there…- she stated, noticing his surprise.  
It was rare, but he was blushing.  
Looking into his eyes, she got closer and took his lips tenderly.  
Kissing was something different now.  
He loved kissing her, but he could feel her discomfort sometimes, so he would get uncomfortable too.  
Her body leaned on his and he gave in to the desire to wrap his arms around her, deepening the kiss.  
The softness of her lips brushing on his, her tongue caressing his; that was happiness.  
Her hands slid to the back of his head, pressuring him forward, telling him she wanted more.  
Syaoran felt his back hit the wall, and his fingers pressed her skin harder.  
Slowly, she broke the kiss, her lips still near his, like if they didn't want to leave.  
Looking into his eyes again, she saw immense warmth and above all, love.  
He wanted to speak; tell her how he felt, but he couldn't find the words, so he gave up and just kissed her forehead.  
- Syaoran…- she whispered, inhaling his scent.

Even though she still wasn't showing, her doctor guaranteed that the baby was developing as he should.  
Syaoran had surprised her one day, by bringing home a catalogue of baby cribs and the baby's first plush toy.  
In return, he received that warm smile only she could give.

Sakura had been getting headaches lately, and that day was no exception.  
She was sitting under a tree at college, trying to get some relief from the pain and thinking of getting in a cab and head home. There was no way she would attend more classes that day.  
Syaoran hadn't gone to college, since he didn't have any classes.

But all of the sudden, her heartbeat got faster and the sunlight was too bright, forcing her to close her eyes. Her head hurt so bad she almost grunted in pain.  
Images and sound started to flood her mind, much like when you forward a movie.  
**_"- So, you became a stalker out of pity…?- he said, taking a sip.  
- No! No! I…I truly wanted to apologize to you and then…the rest is history…but I care about you…"  
_**"- A person without fears is not a person at all. – he said, with a soft expression."  
**"****_- Do I…have something on my face? – he said, breaking the silence.  
At that, she quickly withdrew her hand, blushing even harder.  
- Uh…y-yea…you had an eyelash…  
- …near my lips?"  
_**_"- Syaoran…? – she said, blushing. – Did I say it right?"  
__**"- Why do you care about me so much? Even after the way I treated you...  
At first, she was surprised by his question but his sadness quickly got to her.  
- I just do…I don't think I need a reason to care about you…  
- The way I treated you was enough for you to dislike me, and yet…here you are.  
- I thought you were rude and mean, yes.  
- Don't forget horrible. – he teased, making her blush in regret.  
- …but I saw something in you. – she began. – And I wasn't wrong! I've been right all along! You are kind…and nice and sweet…"**__  
"- Syao-  
He didn't let her finish, pinning her to the door and taking his hands to cup her face.  
His lips pressed strongly against hers and his eyes shut tightly.  
Seconds later, he pulled back, staying a few inches from her face."  
__**"- I love you. I really do…- she said, with the most caring expression she had.  
He sighed in contentment with a smile on his lips, leaning her forehead on hers.  
- I – he began. – Love you. You're the sun here…not me.  
- That's not true…I find you quite hot…  
His teeth showed up as his smile grew bigger, almost a laugh.  
- I love your smile, even if you don't smile that often…  
- You make me smile. – he said weakly, his lips brushing on hers."**_

She found it difficult to breathe after that.

Sakura barged in their apartment, slamming the door and looking for him almost desperately.  
There he was, coming from the kitchen, naked torso, drying his hair with a towel.  
- Sakura? What the-? Weren't you suppo-  
She didn't let him finish his question, throwing herself at him, making them both fall to the floor.  
Syaoran let out a grunt of pain at the fall and he looked at her in a state of complete confusion.  
- Sakura...  
- I remember. – she stated with the biggest grin he had seen on her in a long while.  
His eyes widened and it was as if his blood had gone down all at once.  
- I remember everything! – she resumed. – From the moment I lost my notes and you told me to shut up…your birthday, the beach, your accident…when you kissed me…I remember it all!  
For a few seconds he froze, not really believing what she was saying. Then, they both stood up, facing each other.  
She saw tears forming in his eyes and he finally smiled, cupping her face.  
- Sakura…- he whispered, beginning a series of loving pecks all over her face, then hugging her tightly. – I missed you so much…  
- I love you…- she said lovingly, kissing his neck.  
He chuckled at those words, letting a few more tears run down his cheeks.  
- I love you…I love you…I love you…- he whispered against her lips, eyes half lidded.  
The first contact was calm and soft, while their hearts jumped inside their chests.  
Her arms wrapped around his neck and his enveloped her waist tightly.  
The kiss quickly grew passionate, as their lips became slippery and their tongues met vigorously.  
They made their way to his bed, bumping into things while pushing and pulling themselves, almost tripping, but never parting their lips.  
Her body hit the mattress and his fell on top of hers, their breathing already too wild.  
In the middle of all that, Sakura found a way to unbutton both her jeans and his, sending a shiver up his spine – it had been months without feeling her body.  
- Sakura…- he said, after finding some strength to part from her lips, his voice completely drunk with passion. – You're…you're…expecting…maybe we shouldn't-  
She smiled warmly at his concern and kissed him lightly.  
- It's okay…we can, Syaoran…it's safe…  
- You're sure…?  
- Mm-hmm… - she hummed, taking his lips again.  
He didn't fight it anymore. His body ached for her.  
In a quick move, his jeans flew to the floor and hers as well. Her cardigan and shirt followed.  
His hands travelled up her back, reaching for the bra clasp.  
He felt her shiver under his touch. When his lips left hers to play with her breast, her fingers gently tugged his hair and she let out a series of low moans.  
But, as much as he loved playing with her breasts, he loved kissing her more; he needed to.  
Her hand never left his hair, while the other caressed his back. His left hand was stationed on her hip and the other one, along with his arm, were bracing him, right beside her head.  
Even kissing was enough to make them moan.  
Not really aware of what he was doing, his hips began grinding on hers and she moved with him; their breathing becoming ragged.  
Her hands wandered down, pulling the waistband of his boxers down.  
Syaoran broke the kiss gently and finished taking them off, taking her underwear next.  
It didn't take long for them to be moving their bodies in their own perfect rhythm.  
How he had missed her body; her warmth; her scent; her sighs and moans; her hands pressing his back so hard it nearly hurt.  
- God…I missed you…- he muttered in his short breath.  
Her answer was a deep kiss.  
His eyebrows furrowed and he grunted into her mouth, starting to go faster.  
- Syaoran…! – she managed to whisper, her head slightly sinking in the pillow as she climaxed.  
With his last strong thrusts, he tried his best to control his voice, but she heard him well.  
Both of them stood still, breathing heavily.  
He propped himself on his arms to look at her, his mouth hanging open so he could breathe better.  
She smiled lovingly at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
- Ne…let's shift…  
Syaoran blinked not really understanding what she meant by that, but she pushed him to the side, forcing him to lie on his back, and straddled him.  
She smiled at his surprised expression.  
- I'm not done yet…- she said, teasing his manhood by grinding on him.  
As soon as the surprise vanished, he pulled her in for a passionate kiss.  
- I love you. – he said, eyes still closed, lips near hers. – You'll never leave my arms again.  
- I don't want to…

THE END (kind of)

* * *

Woooooo.

Ok, so there's an epilogue, that'll post right away.  
But let me know what you think of this!


	12. EPILOGUE

EPILOGUE

Tomoyo cried when she learned that Sakura had her memories back.  
Her parents almost did too and asked her to come home.  
She did, and well, introducing Syaoran to her brother wasn't smooth; nor was telling them that she was expecting.  
- So, this is the guy who was reckless with his driving and got himself in the hospital, uh? – asked Touya, sitting across the table.  
- Touya! He wasn't reckless! He's actually a really good driver!  
Syaoran tried his best to ignore that, even though he was getting on his nerves.  
- It's okay Sakura, let it be…  
- So you're dating my little sister, uh?  
- Yes, I am.  
- How long?  
- We started in November, but due to what happened in January, things were put on hold, until a few days ago.  
Sakura was looking at them like if it was a ping pong match, all while fidgeting with her fingers in her lap. She was nervous as she hadn't been in a long while.  
- Is everything alright, dear? – her mother asked, looking concerned.  
- Uh, yea, yea. All good.  
Syaoran looked at her to see if she was ready to tell them. Not that he was ready, but they had to know. And he still had to tell his parents.  
- Hm...Mom…Dad…- she started, visibly nervous and avoiding their eyes. – I…hm…have something to tell you.  
They gave her all their attention.  
She looked at Syaoran for reassurance.  
- I hm…I…I'm…pregnant…- she said, finally looking at them.  
- WHAT?! – shouted Touya, standing up furiously. - WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER YOU-!  
- T-Touya! Please, stop! – she asked him. – He didn't do anything to me. He is very respectful, and kind and loving…and it happened. So don't blame him!  
A small silence followed that, in which Touya sat down with the most bitter face he had.  
Sakura was surprised with the tight hug of her mother.  
- My little girl is having a baby! I'm so happy! - she said, rubbing Sakura's cheek with her own.  
She smiled in relief and glanced at Syaoran, who was smiling at her.

A YEAR LATER

They had moved to a cosy three bedroom house. His apartment wouldn't be enough for the three of them.  
In the meantime, Syaoran had proposed to her, to which she obviously said yes.  
It hadn't been anything fancy; just a simple –and nervous- 'will you marry me?' right after they finished making love.  
So the ceremony – a simple, friendly one – would take place in November, the same month he realized he was in love with her.  
Sakura came into their bedroom, straight from the bathroom still drying her hair with a towel.  
She found Syaoran sleeping on his side and their baby boy sleeping too, right beside him.  
A tender smile formed on her lips, and the memory of her flying notes came to her mind.  
She was glad they had flown.

THE END. (FOR REAL) 

* * *

Okay, it has come to an end!  
I hope you enjoyed this at least as much as I did, and THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your support, it really means a lot to me :)

Any questions, I'll answer them.  
See you on my next fic ;)


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